Ash

by D.J. Krimmer

“He’s a worrier, that’s all.

our fault, mine and our mom. The poor guy has cared for us since he was younger than Wade. I think seeing you like that yesterday just triggered ...

“Anxiety?” I ask while cutting the shank. “Uh huh, he has a panic disor– Oh, you didn’t know that.” Sh...

“Hey Mom, oh—uh h-hey Indy.” I try with everything in me not to chuckle as my boy tries to sound older and more manly than his preteen voice allows. Indy looks over her shoulder and beams brightly at him, and Wade nearly swoons.

“Hey, Wade! So, are we gonna get together for Rockband one of these nights?” Wade’s eyes widen, and his cheeks redden. Lord, I am not ready to have my son chasing after girls. “Y-yeah! That would be awesome! Maybe tonight?”

“If Indy is up for it...

I need to go out. But what I heard this morning keeps going through my mind. At first, I thought I was dreaming. There’s no way in fuck that Sunday Sutton would be masturbating, especially not to me. But when she came, and it was my name, she cried out. I nearly blew a load right then and there. It was too much, and now, that’s all I can think about.

“My mom had another seizure and hit her head. Indy called 911, and Mom insisted I come back here with Indy. If you want me to leave, I understand.” “Another seizure?”

“I-is she alright? Where is she?”

“She’s at the hospital. They’re keeping her overnight, but she’s fine. Where are you going?” I don’t respond to Indy as I walk back out the door, heading back to my car.

“Ash?” Her weak voice cracks as she sits up. “Hey, sunshine.” I give her my best smile as I walk in and take a seat next to her bed.

“I don’t hate you, sunshine.”

“Really, charming? Because I wouldn’t call whatever we got going on a blossoming friendship.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t say that either. But it’s not hate, just deep humiliation or some shit. I mean, I did beg fo...

“I wish you wouldn’t have been e...

“Sorry that Wade is at your place. I hope he wasn’t interrupting any plans.” I shake my head.

“Okay, then I give up.” She

“Why are you here, Ash?”

I really don’t know, sunshine. Indy and Wade said you had a seizure and that you were at the hospital, and I left to come here so you weren’t alone.”

If you want me to go, I will.” “No.” Her

“No, I don’t want you to go...

What I want is for you and me to move past our encounters from before. I’m going to be your neighbor for at least the next few months, and I enjoy Indy’s company. I’d like not to ha...

“Pregnant at thirteen, and the donor was a fucking predator. A GED instead of a high school diploma, so all scholarship hopes were dashed. I moved to New York with a baby to live in a literal closet while learning ballet and dancing. Then, I lost my spot in the ballet after making it into leading roles because my epilepsy medication was making it too hard for me to remember my routines. I married way too young to a man—and I use that term loosely—who was only with me because I was young and attractive. As soon as the whole father-figure thing was expected of him after he took us to California, he said I needed to leave his home. Then, I was divorced. Then, if that wasn’t bad enough, I stupidly went back to him a while back because I just didn’t feel bad enough about myself, and he then ran me into so much debt that a cheap place far away from this expensive-ass state seems to be the only chance of me coming out of this. So yeah, not exactly a success in my parent’s eyes.”

“He tried to steal Wade’s pet, so I rescued it and ran eight miles on foot to hide in my dance studio with the stupid thing. My ex found me, and–”

“Did he?” I manage between my clenched teeth. “Just once. I didn’t think he had it in him, honestly.” I’m up instantly and heading toward the door. “W-where are you going?” she asks nervously.

“I’ll be back. I just need to go and beat that fucker with a bat until he stops breathing.”

“You’re right; I don’t know your life. I shouldn’t butt in. I just know what that kind of life is like. I shouldn’t have said anything.” She raises a brow. “And how on earth would you know anything

“Because…”

“Besides growing up and having to jump from one state to the other to hide from my abusive father, I ended up in a long-term relati...

“And yeah, I know… I’m not the poster boy for it. I’ve heard it all before, ‘but Ash, you’re tall and built. What kind of pussy are you that...

“I didn’t thin...

“Men can be abused, Ash. Grown men can and are abused every day by their significant others, friends, or co-workers. Probably more than we know because men are taught not t...

“I don’t think that way, and it’s not how I raise Wade to think, either. Men should never put their hands on a woman, but the same rule applies the other way. I’m sorry someone hurt you, and I’m sorry that you didn’t have...

“Stop,” I say, standing up. I’m suddenly itchy and hot all over. “I-I don’t need your pity, just… stop.” “Ash,...

“Well, good, because I don’t want it!” I snap, louder and harsher than intended. “E...

“Talk an awful big game for someone who laughed in my face, called me Dash, and then, when we met back up, has put me down, saying I’m materialistic and ill-suited for my previous work. You’re a bully too, Sunday.”

“Uh!” She scoffs while trying to get up. “S-Sunday, stop. You have a head injury; you can’t get up.”

“Oh, but you can call me a bully? You can waltz into my room uninvited and tell me how I’m doing everything wrong. Well, fuck you, Ash; I don’t need your voice in my head telling me I’m a ...

“You know better,” she scolds. “Come on.”

I didn’t mean to snap or raise my voice, but my pain and shame were on the verge of escaping the boxes. I kept them locked in, and I didn’t want her to see me break.

“Well, you don’t have to worry about me, Luca, my ass is forever single.” Luca scoffs.

“That’s because your psychotic-ass grandmother tries to stab anyone that comes near you. She almost took off my nipple the day I met her!” I nearly spit out my beer and shake my head.

“She’s just a firm believer that if you have a penis, you must work for the devil.” “She’s not wrong,” I mutter, earning a pinch from Luca.

Maybe Ash will let Indy out of her tower one day, and she can help.” Indy chokes on the water she's drinking and looks around nervously. “Yeah, probably not a good chance there.”

have some medical conditions, and Ash is protective of me. Prefers to treat me as though I’m glass.” “Epilepsy,” I state, pointing to myself and taking a drink. “Essential Tremors,”

“Type one diabetes.” Ren shrugs as she points to her sensor, poking out from under her sleeve.

“Uterine fibroids and endometrio...

“I’m more of a ‘handle it on my own’ type.” “Wow,” Indy chuckles lightly. “It’s like women with disabilities support group.” I snicker, and Janie laughs heartily.

“So, what’s your spice?” I ask Indy, who blushes. “MS,” she whispers, and we all fall silent. MS–Multiple Sclerosis is one of the big boys.

But MS is one of those diseases you hear about, and your heart plummets.