Tuesdays with Morrie

by Mitch Albom

It wasn’t always pretty. But then, he didn’t worry about a partner. Morrie danced by himself.

Shouldn’t the world stop? Don’t they know what has happened to me?

Morrie’s doctors guessed he had two years left. Morrie knew it was less.

He told his friends that if they really wanted to help him, they would treat him not with sympathy but with visits, phone calls, a sharing of their problems—the way they had always shared their problems,

he was joined in his home by a small group of friends and family for a “living funeral.”

His legs were dead; he would never walk again. Yet he refused to be depressed.

“Accept what you are able to do and what you are not able to do”; “Accept the past as past, without denying it or discarding it”; “Learn to forgive yourself and to forgive others”; “Don’t assume that it’s too late to get involved.”

“when all this started, I asked myself, ‘Am I going to withdraw from the world, like most people do, or am I going to live?’ I decided I’m going to live—or at least try to live—the way I want, with dignity, with courage, with humor, with composure.

“There are some mornings when I cry and cry and mourn for myself. Some mornings, I’m so angry and bitter. But it doesn’t last too long. Then I get up and say, ‘I want to live…’

“Love wins. Love always wins.”

“The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn’t work, don’t buy it.”

“So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”

“if you really want it, then you’ll make your dream happen.”

Now that I’m suffering, I feel closer to people who suffer than I ever did before.

“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.”

Why are we embarrassed by silence? What comfort do we find in all the noise?

I liked myself better when I was there.

We talked about life and we talked about love.

How useful it would be to put a daily limit on self-pity. Just a few tearful minutes, then on with the day.

Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too—even when you’re in the dark. Even when you’re falling.”

Morrie was looking at life from some very different place than anyone else I knew. A healthier place. A more sensible place. And he was about to die.

“the culture doesn’t encourage you to think about such things until you’re about to die. We’re so wrapped up with egotistical things, career, family, having enough money, meeting the mortgage, getting a new car, fixing the radiator when it breaks—we’re involved in trillions of little acts just to keep going. So we don’t get into the habit of standing back and looking at our lives and saying, Is this all? Is this all I want? Is something missing?”

we’ve had thirty-five years of friendship. You don’t need speech or hearing to feel that.”

In the evenings, he watched his father eat in silence, hoping for—but never getting—a show of affection, communication, warmth. At nine years old, he felt as if the weight of a mountain were on his shoulders.

How can you ever be prepared to die? “Do what the Buddhists do. Every day, have a little bird on your shoulder that asks, ‘Is today the day? Am I ready? Am I doing all I need to do? Am I being the person I want to be?’

“The truth is, Mitch,” he said, “once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.”

“Oh, yes. You strip away all that stuff and you focus on the essentials. When you realize you are going to die, you see everything much differently. He sighed. “Learn how to die, and you learn how to live.”

“You see that? You can go out there, outside, anytime. You can run up and down the block and go crazy. I can’t do that. I can’t go out. I can’t run. I can’t be out there without fear of getting sick. But you know what? I appreciate that window more than you do.”

“The fact is, there is no foundation, no secure ground, upon which people may stand today if it isn’t the family.

Without love, we are birds with broken wings.

who will not leave. It’s not the same as having someone whom you know has an eye on you, is watching you the whole time.

knowing that your family will be there watching out for you. Nothing else will give you that. Not money. Not fame.”

“I’ve never had another teacher like you,” they all said.

Forget what the culture says. I have ignored the culture much of my life. I am not going to be ashamed. What’s the big deal?

We all yearn in some way to return to those days when we were completely taken care of—unconditional love, unconditional attention. Most of us didn’t get enough.

“You have to find what’s good and true and beautiful in your life as it is now. Looking back makes you competitive. And, age is not a competitive issue.”

“Money is not a substitute for tenderness, and power is not a substitute for tenderness. I can tell you, as I’m sitting here dying, when you most need it, neither money nor power will give you the feeling you’re looking for, no matter how much of them you have.”

“There’s a big confusion in this country over what we want versus what we need,” Morrie said. “You need food, you want a chocolate sundae. You have to be honest with yourself. You don’t need the latest sports car, you don’t need the biggest house.

“Offering others what you have to give.”

There are lonely people in hospitals and shelters who only want some companionship. You play cards with a lonely older man and you find new respect for yourself, because you are needed.

Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.

“Mitch, if you’re trying to show off for people at the top, forget it. They will look down at you anyhow. And if you’re trying to show off for people at the bottom, forget it. They will only envy you. Status will get you nowhere. Only an open heart will allow you to float equally between everyone.”

“Do the kinds of things that come from the heart. When you do, you won’t be dissatisfied, you won’t be envious, you won’t be longing for somebody else’s things. On the contrary, you’ll be overwhelmed with what comes back.”

“Part of the problem, Mitch, is that everyone is in such a hurry,” Morrie said. “People haven’t found meaning in their lives, so they’re running all the time looking for it. They think the next car, the next house, the next job. Then they find those things are empty, too, and they keep running.”

your generation,” Morrie said. “In this culture, it’s so important to find a loving relationship with someone because so much of the culture does not give you that. But the poor kids today, either they’re too selfish to take part in a real loving relationship, or they rush into marriage and then six months later, they get divorced. They don’t know what they want in a partner. They don’t know who they are themselves—so how can they know who they’re marrying?”

“The way to do it, I think, isn’t to run away. You have to work at creating your own culture.

“But believe me, when you are dying, you see it is true. We all have the same beginning—birth—and we all have the same end—death. So how different can we be?

“Invest in the human family. Invest in people. Build a little community of those you love and who love you.”

“Love each other or die.”

this disease is knocking at my spirit. But it will not get my spirit. It’ll get my body. It will not get my spirit.”