The teachers would repeatedly tell my mother that although I was smart, I didn’t “apply” myself, when in truth I was applying the hell out of myself. What nobody knew back then was that I had an undiagnosed learning disability. There wasn’t even a word for it. “Applying myself” became an expression that triggered anger in me for the rest of my life. In my heart, I didn’t believe I was stupid, and I knew I wasn’t lazy. I didn’t understand why everyone else found it so easy and I just couldn’t get it.
