False Start (Red Zone Rivals, #5)

by Kandi Steiner

“The Madelyn you used to know no longer exists.”

Kyle once used me and then left me behind. Maybe it was time to return the favor.

If I were a mustang, then she was the cowgirl ready to break me.

I arched a brow when I looked up at Kyle again, because we both knew me in this dress was not beautiful, nor impressive to him. I may or may not have done some social media stalking and googling before our meeting. For research purposes, of course. And in that research, I discovered the kind of woman who usually clung to Kyle’s arm at charity events, or grinded on him in crowded clubs. They were all the kind of gorgeous you found on covers of magazines, the ones you scrolled past on social media thinking there’s no way this woman is real. So, him saying I looked beautiful right now in this dress that could have been worn by my mother? Well, it felt more insulting than complimentary.

“I won’t waste your time,” he promised. “One, because I respect you—” I flattened my lips at that. “And two, because I don’t have time to waste. I need to be settled by the time the season starts, and I already have my hands full trying to get my body and mind in shape to play at the level I need to. Add in the fact that everyone and their fucking mom keeps inviting me to weddings, and you could say my availability is scarce.”

But then my eyes caught on her left arm, on the dark coloring of skin above her watch. There were four bruises. And there was no mistaking they were from a hand. “So, let’s cross this one off. I think the next—” “Who did that to you?” My jaw was tighter than I’d ever felt it in my fucking life, my teeth grinding together hard enough to crack as I stared at those marks. They were a dark, nasty purple against her pale skin, the edges of them turning a sickening green. Madelyn frowned up at me, and then instantly went white as a sheet. She tugged her sleeves down without even looking at the bruises she knew I’d seen. “Oh, stop it,” she tried, waving me off. “You know how clumsy I am. I just—” “I swear to fucking God, Madelyn, if you try to tell me you fell and bruised your arm in the shape of a hand—” That was not the right response, and I knew it by the way she shriveled in on herself. But it was like trying to ride a fucking bull, the way my rage was bucking wildly in my chest. I inhaled a long breath, closed my eyes, and opened them again before tentatively moving toward her. I didn’t dare reach out for her, not when she looked like a scared doe ready to race across a highway if I did. “Look at me,” I whispered. I didn’t miss how her eyes welled with tears, but her nose flared despite them, her chin lifting and eyes finding mine in defiance. “I’m fine.” “Who hurt you?” “I’m not hurt.” “Who,” I repeated, slower this time, the strain evident in my voice as I tried to keep my...

“My proposal is that, from here on out, until we close on a house — you’re my girlfriend to everyone who isn’t you and me. No one else knows the truth but us.” It was me who opened my mouth this time, but he held up a finger to stop me. “I get to do my part in keeping your…” He swallowed, jaw tense, and then chose his words carefully. “Ex in line. I get to keep you and Sebastian out of harm’s way. And you pretend to be my girlfriend so my friends will lay off the jokes and take me seriously for once.”

As it was, seeing those bruises on Madelyn’s arm had my brain short circuiting. I didn’t care about being logical. I only cared about making sure she was okay. The truth of that made me frown a little as I waited for her to respond, because the first time I’d seen her after all those years, I’d wanted to hurt her. I’d wanted her to feel the pain she’d put me through. Now, I was trying to keep her from pain. I was a walking contradiction.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but… fine.” Inside, I threw a fist into the air in victory. On the outside, I simply smirked. “But I have conditions,” she added with a finger pointed straight at my chest. She was using that thing like a damn weapon today. “Name them.” “No fighting with Marshall.” Marshall. So that was the fucker’s name. Madelyn must have seen how tense my jaw was because she arched a threatening brow. “I mean it. If you go fighting him, it’s going to cause more issues for me. So, be the six-foot-seven bodyguard all you want, but do not goad him, do not call him names, and do not lay a finger on him.” “I won’t,” I promise. “Unless he lays a finger on you.” Madelyn’s brows tugged inward, just a little, as if she didn’t understand why I would care if he did. But she listed her next condition before I could think too much on that reaction. “No one lays a finger on me. You included.” It was my turn to cock a brow. “We can… pretend all you want,” she said with a wave of her hand. “But let’s not forget the reality. We aren’t even friends, let alone anything more. Don’t go holding my hand or touching my back or trying to sneak in a kiss.” The way she listed out those demands made it so hard not to laugh. Her little cheeks were growing redder by the minute, the blush creeping down her neck, too. She could barely look me in the eye when she said kiss.

“My turn to list a condition.” “You don’t get conditions. This was your idea, remember?” “Exactly — which means I get to make some rules, too. And my number one rule?” I cracked my neck. “I don’t want you around Marshall without me there.” She blinked at me. “You don’t want me around the father of my child who I co-parent with.” It was a deadpan statement, not a question. “Nope.” “He’s Sebastian’s dad.” “I don’t give a fuck,” I shot back without hesitation. “Did you hear what I said? Unless I am with you, you’re not to be around him.”

“I don’t have anything to wear to a wedding, Kyle. I definitely don’t have a nice enough dress to attend a professional football player’s wedding.” “Trust me — my friends aren’t like that. You could show up in a trash bag and they’d love you for it.” “You calling me trash, Robbins?” “If you’re trash, then I’m a dumpster diver.”

If anyone in this world could make me crazy, it was this girl.

He had a crush on me. It was easy to see it. What wasn’t easy was admitting that I had a crush on him, too.

“Isn’t she stunning?” Larissa probed, continuing to accessorize me. I watched her drape a long, delicate chain around my neck, the gold bar at the end of it settling in the gap of the dress at my chest. When my eyes found Kyle again, he was subtly shaking his head, his eyes drinking me in again. “Always has been,” he said, his voice almost too low for me to hear.

“Next, you’ll say we need to practice horizontal dancing.” Kyle quirked a smile. “That wasn’t on my list, but I’d be happy to add it.”

Kyle’s face went a bit ashen at the mention of my mother. Probably because the last time he’d seen her was the night before he found out I was pregnant. And then he’d left.

“What was that rule you made when we were younger?” I asked, and then hung a hand on my hip and tried to imitate her. “No lying. Lying is the highest offense punishable by purple nurple.” I couldn’t help but chuckle when I said it, my imitation of her voice leaking out of me like a deflating balloon. It had been hilarious the first time she’d said it to me — even more so when she’d followed through on that promise and twisted my nipples so hard I yelped the first time I’d tried to lie to her. But Madelyn didn’t even smile. Her eyes were a bit hollow as she said, “Sometimes the truth has worse consequences than that.” I frowned, my heart stuttering, and everything she’d said on the plane came rushing back to me. I felt it again. It was the calm before the storm.

“Excuse this rude motherfucker,” he said, extending his hand for hers. “I’m Leo.” “Madelyn,” she said, taking his hand. “Nice to meet you. Blink twice if you’re in danger or being held against your will.” Madelyn smiled a bit at that, and I ground my teeth, gritting out a smile of my own.

I told myself I did it for show. I told myself I was just holding up my end of the bargain. And I swore to myself it wasn’t because, in that moment of panic, I knew kissing him would make me feel calm again. And it did.

“What?” “Nothing.” She narrowed her gaze even more. “Just love to see you’re still as competitive as you were when you were in high school,” I said, holding a hand up in surrender. “I’m not competitive,” she said, cracking her neck. “Uh-huh,” I mused. Then, I finished my beer and leaned in close enough for my next words to sweep across the back of her neck. “And I’m not still thinking about you in that bathtub.” She froze, and even in the darkness, I could tell she was blushing.

She didn’t even hesitate. Madelyn strode up to stand next to Braden, pointing at Riley. “My first pick.” She and Riley high-fived each other as I gaped at her with my jaw on the court, and the guys bent over laughing at my expression. “That’s just cold,” I said. “Oh, don’t be a baby. I’ll get you next time,” Madelyn said. “What if Braden picks me?” “Holden,” Braden said, and I turned my look of betrayal on him. He just shrugged. “Sorry, man.” I shook my head, tonguing the inside of my cheek as I crossed my arms over my chest. I pretended to be offended, but really, I couldn’t help but smile as Madelyn stepped fully into her element. And when she called me to be on her team next, I walked slowly over to join her, dropping my voice low enough so no one else could hear. “Enjoy being the one to call the shots now because that’ll be my role when we get back to the room.” She stilled, swallowing. And when she called out Clay’s name, I smiled at how it came out in a squeak.

I didn’t know what the fuck we were doing anymore. But I knew there was nothing fake about what I had planned for when we got back to that hotel.

“Caught you looking,” he teased as the memory of his perfectly sculpted ass burned itself into my brain. “I wasn’t looking,” I argued. “Then why are you so upset?” “Because you flashed me!” “You can always flash me back if it’d make you feel better to get even.”

“I didn’t just hear you earlier,” he husked against the shell of my ear. His touch was still just a tease against my thigh. “I watched you.” Another gasp left me. “I watched you touch yourself, listened to the way you moaned.” I should have been shocked. I wanted to be shocked. I willed myself to break away from him and scream at him and storm out of the room. But I was so turned on by the thought, by knowing he was watching me without me knowing, that he’d seen me writhing in that bath water trying to find relief. “It was intoxicating,” he continued, his breath ragged against my skin. “I couldn’t look away.” “Kyle,” I breathed, arching against him, and he groaned with a buck of his hips. “I heard you say that, too,” he murmured in my ear. “You were thinking of me.” “Yes.” He cursed, his teeth sinking into my shoulder. “I fucked my hand as I watched you,” he admitted, and the shock only lasted a second before a rush of power swept through me. The thought that he couldn’t resist himself, that he risked getting caught because he was so turned on… “When you gave up…” he continued, and his fingers slid between my legs, toying with the sensitive skin just next to where I wanted him. I chased his touch, but he pulled away, continuing his tease. “I had to force myself out of this hotel room to keep from bursting into that bathroom and taking over.” My next breath shuddered out of me, and Kyle kissed just below my ear. “Let me touch you, Mads,” he begged, teeth sinking into my sho...

“I don’t know how you like it,” she said, the mug steaming in her hands. “Your coffee.” “Well, you must be a psychic, because this is exactly how I like it.” “Black?” “No.” I shook my head, taking the mug from her hands and setting it on the nightstand before I grabbed her and pulled her into my lap. “Delivered by you in a nightgown.”

“I vow to always keep the house stocked with Cheetos,” he said toward the end, which made all of us laugh — that girl loved Cheetos. “I promise to kick anyone’s ass who doesn’t take you seriously in your career, and I swear to continue stealing your books and studying every scene you tab and highlight until the day you stop reading.” “That will be never,” she quipped, and we all laughed again.

The guys joined us then, and Leo poked Mary’s side. “You didn’t even try!” “When are we going to have time to get married?” she barked back at him. “I’m running the shop and you’re about to play your first season in the NFL.” He wrapped an arm around her neck and pulled her close, his mouth against her ear. I don’t think he realized I could still hear him when he said, “Am I going to have to put a baby in you to tie you down the way Clay did with G?” Mary flushed a deep red, and so did I, tearing my eyes away from them.

“From this moment on, it’s you, and me, and Sebastian. Okay? We will figure it out. We will find a way. But I’ll be fucking damned if I ever let you go again. I’ll lay down my life before I let you walk alone. I’ll walk away from everything else if I have to — Seattle, the team, football, my family — but never you. Do you understand me? Never, ever you, Mads.”

“If we do this,” he said, swallowing. “If you let me have you…” “I’m not taking it back, Kyle.” He closed his eyes, forehead dropping to mine as he shook his head like he couldn’t believe those words were true. “Claim me,” I begged, arching into him. “Leave your mark. Get back what’s always been yours. Ruin me, if that’s what it takes.” I slid my hands into his hair and made him look at me before I kissed him hard, my next words vibrating against his lips. “Have me in every way you want, Kyle, because I’ll only ever belong to you.”

I didn’t know what happened next, but I knew one thing for sure. From this moment on, we were a unit. From this moment on, it was us against the world.

“Mommy,” he said when we were almost done. “Hmm?” “Did you have a good weekend?” I smiled, running a hand through his hair. “I did.” “Good,” he said decidedly, curling up into me more. “You seem happier. I like when you’re happy, Momma.”

“Plans change, my dear,” Mom said, but she looked as worried as I felt. “Just… be sure before you make any big decisions, okay? I don’t doubt that Kyle is a good man, but he’s a professional athlete. Being in a relationship with him also means being in a relationship with the media, with the world.”

“Are you my new dad?” I rolled my lips together, emotion strangling my throat. Fortunately, Kyle was still calm and collected. “I will never take your dad’s place,” he said. Sebastian seemed almost sad about that. He nodded, hanging his head. “But,” Kyle added quickly. “What I’d like to do is be your friend. And I want to hang out more, and get to know more about you, and tell you more about me. I’d like to take you fun places, like the zoo and the pool. I’d like to pick you up from camp sometimes, and I hope to be here on my days off. And when the season starts… maybe you could come to a football game.” Sebastian’s eyes lit up at that, and he looked at me. “Could I?” “We’ll see,” I said. “But, yes, I imagine so.” “That would be so cool!” Sebastian said excitedly.

“Let me ask you something,” I said, trying as hard as I could to keep my voice even. “Did you hate me as soon as you found out Mom was pregnant, or did it grow once I was born?”

“You want to think you know what’s best for you? For you at sixteen? Well, when you’re a father, you can talk to me again.” “I was a father!” I cried, shaking, my neck heated. “I was a father, and you stole that from me.”

I will protect you. I will love you. I will never leave you again. You are mine.

I made my way down the hall to him, and as soon as I made it to his door, Sebastian hugged my legs tight, burying his face in my stomach like he did when he was sick. Or scared. I sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Everything is okay,” I promised him. “I don’t like when Daddy yells at you.” My eyes shut, and I let out a long breath before replying, “I don’t like it either, baby.” “Kyle never yells at us.” Another squeeze of my heart. “No, he doesn’t.” “He loves you.” At that, I smirked, dropping down to his level and brushing his hair from his face. “I don’t know about that, but I know he cares about both of us.” Sebastian nodded, looking down at his sneakers. “You okay?” I asked him. He nodded again, but then shook his head. “Sometimes I have a bad thought.” I frowned. “Well, you can tell Mommy. There’s no judgment here. Remember?” Sebastian swayed a bit side to side, his eyes on his shoes still, and I thought I heard the front door open and close somewhere behind us. “Sometimes, I wish Kyle was my dad, instead.” I covered my mouth, and when Sebastian looked at me, he seemed worried that I was upset. So, quickly, I smiled and grabbed his arms. “It’s okay to wish that,” I assured him. “But your dad loves you. And you have fun with him, don’t you? You always love going to his house, and when he takes you to get ice cream, or when he takes you to the cool baseball games downtown.” “Yeah,” Sebastian said, but he grew quiet after that. “You about ready?” I asked. He nod...

“I can’t believe you proposed in the most un-romantic way,” Giana said. “Without a ring!” Clay shrugged next to her. “I think it’s kind of romantic,” he argued. “Kyle is her knight in shining armor. Marshall is the dragon with bad breath.” “Slay that motherfucker!” Leo chimed in, standing up and doing a weird joust with his arm. Mary tugged him back down into his seat with her lips in a flat line.

“Kyle, I respect that you want to keep her safe. But… is that the only reason you want to marry her?” “No.” I said it instantly, as if the fact that he’d even asked it was an insult. “I just mean, you’ve only known her for… what? A couple months?” “I’ve known her my whole life,” I argued. “And yes, while we only recently reconnected, I… I can’t explain it.” “Try,” Zeke said. And the way he looked at me, the history he and Riley had… I knew he understood before I even said a word. “Since the day I met her when I was a fifteen-year-old kid, she’s been a part of me. She was just my annoying babysitter at first, but then she was my friend. And back then…” I swallowed. “A friend — a true friend — was impossible to come by. She showed me what it was to have someone care about me. She kept me safe in a time when no one else even realized I was in danger. She made me stronger. She brought out the side of me that could move mountains. And then… I fell in love with her. “I fell hard, and fast — the way only a teenager can. And I know she fell for me, too. We fell in the way two people do when there’s nothing to lose, when there are no stakes, when it’s all just fun and warmth and of course we love each other. You know?” They nodded, their gazes solemn. “And then, our worlds came toppling down.” I didn’t need to elaborate — I’d already filled them in on our past. “But even when she hurt me, even when I thought she’d betrayed me, there was still this part of my heart reserved for her....

“Madelyn, I knelt before you just like this only hours ago, but it was in haste. It was in desperation to protect you, to assure you that you weren’t alone, to prove that you had me by your side.” He shook his head. “And while all of those things are true, they’re nowhere near the top of my list when it comes to why I want to make you my wife.” His wife. I nearly melted right then and there. “In this life of mine, I have only loved you. Even when I wanted so desperately to hate you, it was impossible. You have known me, the true core of me, since I was just fifteen years old. We grew up together. We grew apart. And somehow, in a crazy turn of events, or maybe… fate,” he said with a wry grin. “The universe brought us together again.” I sniffed, squeezing his hands where they held mine. “I love you, Mads,” he breathed, and when his jaw flexed with those words, when emotion made him swallow — it nearly broke me. “God, I love you fiercely. I love you in a way that would kill me if I wasn’t allowed to act out this love every day of my life. I love your passion and your heart. I love your fight. I love your determination. I loved you as a friend, as my first love, as my first… everything. And I love you even more now, as a mom, as a woman who has worn the weight of the world on her shoulders.” He shook his head, kissing my knuckles. “But I don’t want you to shoulder that weight alone, anymore. I want to bear it with you. I want your mornings, and your afternoons, and every singl...

“I love you, too,” I breathed against his lips. “I have never stopped.” “It’s me and you now,” he said between kisses. “Me. And you.” “Me and you,” I echoed.

“Holy shit,” she breathed when we slowed, and I laughed, kissing her nose. “For the rest of your life.” “Psh — you think you’ll still fuck me like that when we’re fifty?” “I’ll fuck you even better then, because I’ll know you even better.”

“But what has kept me up at night lately is the thought that one day, he could hurt Sebastian.” I started to shake my head, frowning, but Kyle spoke again before I could. “I know you don’t think he ever would. He loves his son, I know that. He hasn’t shown any signs of physical aggression toward him. But he has shown signs of aggression toward you when Sebastian is around. He has raised his voice and thrown tantrums. He has toed the line. And as someone who grew up in a household just like that, let me tell you, Mads… there will come a day when that pencil-thin line becomes invisible. The first time he hurts Sebastian, he’ll apologize and say it was a mistake. The second time, he’ll say it’s Sebastian’s fault, that he did something or said something to make him do it. And the third time…” Kyle’s jaw ticced. “He’ll say Sebastian deserved it.”

“I have a request,” I said after a while, still stroking her hair. “No, we aren’t naming them Madden.” I smirked. “Let me be the one to tell Sebastian.” At that, Madelyn pulled back, her eyebrows sliding together as she looked up at me. “He’s going through a lot of change right now,” I said, as if his own mother didn’t already fucking know. “I want to make sure he knows that he’s supported through that. That it’s okay to not feel happy about it all. I want him to know we’re a team. And I want to talk to him about being a big brother, about how…” I swallowed, unsure of how she’d feel about what I was about to say next. “I want him to know that I see him as my own just as much as this one on the way,” I said, floating my hand down to her stomach again. “And for the next nine months, I want him to know he’s my priority, and that even when the baby comes, he’s needed. And he’s allowed to need us. And… fuck. Do I sound stupid? Am I failing as a dad already?” Madelyn was watching me with an amused smile, but her eyes were glossing again. She sniffed, shaking her head. “No,” she whispered. “You’re going to be the best dad in the world. To both of them.” I let out a puff of a laugh from my nose. “Holy shit. I’m going to be a dad.” “You already are.” I shook my head, tucking the loose strands of Madelyn’s hair behind one ear. “I gotta say… this has been one hell of a summer.” She laughed, tilting her head back, the sound sweet as it reverberated off the empty walls. “And all becaus...

Kyle Robbins, number eighty-two on the field and number one in my heart.

“It’s been a bit of a whirlwind, hasn’t it?” I nodded. “One summer, and my life has completely changed. I’m not sure what all Kyle has told you…” Giana held her hands up. “He hasn’t said much, and I don’t pry. I just ask that he lets me know things that I need to know as his agent and publicist. But obviously, I know that you two just reconnected, and that not even two months later he was asking all of us to get on a plane to help him pull off a proposal.” She raised a brow. “I never thought I’d see Kyle Robbins weak for anyone, but girl, he is feeble for you.”

“Congratulations, by the way,” she whispered. “I can’t wait for Kyle’s Daddy era.” “Thank you, G. And thanks for not being… thanks for not judging our situation.” She frowned. “Judging? Why on earth would I?” I shrugged. “I mean, let’s be honest… it is all a bit crazy.” At that, Giana sighed and smiled up at me like the sun beam that she was, her hands squeezing mine once more. “All the best love stories are.”

“Will the new baby call you dad, the way I call my dad?” “Yes, buddy, they will.” My son swallowed. “Would it be okay if I call you dad, too?” Kyle’s eyes fluttered shut, and I watched him compose himself before he reached down and put both hands on Sebastian’s shoulders. “You can call me anything you’d like to. And I want you to know that this doesn’t change a thing between you and me. I…” He swallowed. “I love you. And you’re always going to be my buddy. In fact, I’m going to need you now more than ever. I’ve never been a dad before,” he said the word like it was crazy, and Sebastian giggled. “What the heck am I supposed to do? I need you to walk me through it all.” “But I’ve never been a big brother, either!” “Well, then I guess we’ll figure it all out together, won’t we?” Sebastian nodded, and then he looked up at me. “We’re going to be a great team, aren’t we, Mommy?” “We sure are,” I said, kissing his hair. “So, do I have a baby brother or sister?” “We don’t know yet,” Kyle said. “Can I help name them?” That question surprised me and Kyle both, and we laughed a little before I swept Sebastian’s hair back. “Maybe.” “What would you name them?” Kyle probed, curious. “Spider for a boy! Or Rockman!” I rolled my lips together to stop my laugh. “And for a girl?” “Flower! Twinkles! Pinky!” “Yeah, I think we might need to work on these a bit,” Kyle said, pinching his side. “But you can definitely be a part of the conversation.” “Okay.” Sebastian yawned, and we took that as a ...

When he climbed into bed, Kyle tucked him in. We were just about to turn out the light and leave him be when I noticed him sniffle, his little eyes watering. “Oh, honey. Are you okay?” I asked, sitting next to Kyle. “Yeah,” he assured us with a nod, but he sniffed again. “I’m just… happy.” Kyle smiled, swallowing as he smoothed Sebastian’s hair back. “Because you’re going to be a big brother?” “Because we’re finally going to be a real family.” Kyle and I shared a look before I leaned down to kiss his forehead. “Oh, sweetie. We’re already a family. We always will be, no matter what.” “I was wondering something,” Sebastian said. “What’s that?” I asked. “I know you asked Mommy to marry you,” he said to Kyle, all serious-like now. “But I think you should wait until the baby is here. I don’t think it’s fair for them to miss it.” Kyle looked at me with an arched brow, and I considered for a moment before nodding. “You know what, that’s a great idea,” Kyle said. “Let’s wait for the baby.” “But I can still be the ring tiger?” I snorted. “The ring bearer,” I corrected. “And of course.” Seemingly satisfied with all his questions answered — at least, for now — Sebastian settled deeper into his covers. He wished us both goodnight, and we slipped out of his room and into the hallway. I looked at Kyle. Kyle looked at me. And then we crashed into an embrace.

“What about him?” Leo asked when Sebastian was gone. “Think he’ll want to play?” “Maybe. He’s been soaking up everything about the game since I started teaching it to him. He mentioned wanting to try playing this summer, but it’ll be up to Mama Bear over there,” I said, nodding to Madelyn. She was making her way toward us with three empty mugs in her hands. She dumped them into the sink before looping her arm through mine that wasn’t holding a baby. “We’ll see,” she said. “I’m not a huge fan of the whole concussion aspect.” “None of us are,” Mary agreed. “It’s getting safer each year, with new tackling penalties and helmet advancements. But, yeah, it’s always a risk,” Leo admitted. “Then again, so are most things in life. I mean, that lizard the kid has could climb out of his cage and eat his face off.” “It’s a gecko, not Godzilla,” I deadpanned. Leo threw his hands up. “I’m just saying.”