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“Have a seat, Lily. One of our friends decided to be an idiot and get married last week, and now his wife won’t let him come to poker night anymore. You can be his fill-in until he gets a divorce.”
“In the future… if by some miracle you ever find yourself in the position to fall in love again… fall in love with me.” He presses his lips against my forehead. “You’re still my favorite person, Lily. Always will be.”
Marshall is passing through the living room when he hears me say that. “Shush, Lily. Don’t speak like a rich girl in front of my daughter. Blasphemy.”
Marshall scrunches up his nose and lifts Rylee out of Allysa’s arms. “Are you a stinky girl?” They’re wearing matching onesies.
As his sister, I wish more than anything that you could find a way to forgive him. But as your best friend, I have to tell you that if you take him back, I will never speak to you again.”
Marshall standing in the doorway. His eyes are on my stomach. On Allysa’s hand still on my stomach. He tilts his head. He points at me. “You…” he says, confused. “Lily, there’s a… do you realize you’re pregnant?”
Even if you would have walked into my bedroom and caught us in bed together, you still would not have the right to lay a hand on me, you goddamn son of a bitch!”
She smiles and then says, “Now go get my baby and take her away from here so I can have some sex with my filthy rich husband.”
Sometimes even grown women need their mother’s comfort so we can just take a break from having to be strong all the time.
“The day you gave your father’s eulogy? I know you didn’t freeze up, Lily. You stood at that podium and refused to say a single good thing about that man. It was the proudest I have ever been of you.
“I’ll double your allowance if you decide to come out today,” he says to the baby.
And as hard as this choice is, we break the pattern before the pattern breaks us.
That’s what fifteen minutes can do to a person. It can destroy them. It can save them.
Cycles exist because they are excruciating to break. It takes an astronomical amount of pain and courage to disrupt a familiar pattern. Sometimes it seems easier to just keep running in the same familiar circles, rather than facing the fear of jumping and possibly not landing on your feet.
I kiss her on the forehead and make her a promise. “It stops here. With me and you. It ends with us.”
“I forgot to tell you Emerson’s middle name.” I put my hands on my hips and exhale. “It’s Dory.”
“You can stop swimming now, Lily. We finally reached the shore.”
