Dead of Summer

by A.J. Merlin

Working as a camp counselor has been eye-opening when it comes to kids. Namely, how much I don’t want any of my own.

For me—who’s never had an extra social bone in her body and barely has enough to get through the day here—he seems to be a fountain of wealth in that area.

Kayde isn’t human like the rest of us, as much as it burns my throat to admit it, even to myself. Especially now, with rumors and whispers floating through the air at my back. To these kids, and probably to my fellow counselors, Kayde is a fucking god.

“Oh, my god.” The words come out as a whisper as all the warmth drains out of me, into the ground below. “Not quite,” Kayde responds, still with that half-apologetic smile. “And if you’re really good for me, sweetheart, I won’t make you meet him tonight.”

“Well, if it makes you feel better, I never intended to kill you.” His smile is sheepish when he says it, shoulders hunching like I’ve caught him doing something oh-so-sweet. “I’d thought, maybe afterward, as long as I could keep you in the dark, that you and I could be the only survivors. Thought maybe…” His other hand comes up so his knuckles can trail along the edge of the ax as I watch.

“I’ve been imagining it, you know.” His voice turns to a whisper as he leans forward, nose brushing mine. “How it would feel. How sweet your lips would be.” His mouth nudges mine; asking rather than telling. He kisses me sweetly, mouth insistent as he asks for entrance between my lips.

Kayde doesn’t waste any time. Still pressing hard and holding me in place, he spits, and I nearly choke when the liquid hits the back of my tongue and seeps into my throat.

“Swallow.”

hot

“Though next time, you’re going to stick out your tongue and thank me for it, sweetheart. Understand?”

“What can I say?” I shrug, my arms still crossed over my chest. “I’m all gamed out after today. I’ve had enough of being on my knees in the dirt.”

“What a pity,” Kayde is quick to respond, like he wants to punish me for my words. “Because I haven’t gotten my fill of seeing you there.”

“Go on and come for me. You’re being so good,” he whispers against my ear. “So keep it up for me. Come for me, Summer. I know how much you want to. Your pretty pussy is fluttering around my fingers and you need it, don’t you baby?”

“Come for me before I make you scream just so I can fuck you while their blood dries on this goddamn floor, Summer.”

“You were so good for me, sweetheart,” my ax murderer whispers against my hair, just over the sound of the water. “Just relax for me, baby. I’ve got you.”

“You okay?” she asks, putting a hand on my arm. “Is your brain doing shitty, neurospicy things today? Because just in case you need to hear it, you’re a good human and your brain is wrong about you. Though…”

“Yeah, that’s all right, Summer.”

“I’ll always help my favorite, self-destructive sweetheart.”

on my knees

“Kayde, I can’t⁠—” “Yes, you can,” he murmurs. “You can do it for me, baby. Be good for me, just a little. Just enough we don’t wake anyone up, hmm? Unless you absolutely need me to stop⁠—”

“There you go. Just breathe for me, okay? In…” He waits for me to take a breath, then says, “And let it out. Slow it down, baby. You’re okay.”

so thoughtful

“You didn’t know, baby? You didn’t know you were crying for me?” He swipes his thumb through the wetness, and brings it up to show me the glistening of my tears in the light. “It’s so fucking hot, Summer. I love it when you cry for me. You know how much I want to make a fucking mess out of you?”

“Not a murdered mess,” he tells me, like that’s a comfort. “Why would I kill you? That would be like throwing out my favorite toy that I’m always playing with. No, that would be such a waste when you’re so fun to play with like this. But maybe…”

“Good girl. So good at taking whatever I want to give you. Aren’t you just the most perfect little thing?”

He wanted to kill Kinsley. But not you, that unhelpful little voice in my brain whispers wickedly. He was never going to kill you. He wanted to keep you.

“I came back because I’m in love with you, Summer Walsh. And you’d better understand real quick that I’m going to make sure you feel the same before these kids go home. No matter what I have to do to make that happen.”

“Don’t wanna kill them anymore, Summer,” Kayde interrupts. “Don’t need to. They’re not like you. They don’t hold my interest like you do, sweetheart. Tell me what you want from me. Tell me what will make you love me like I love you. Summer, tell me how to make you mine in your mind and not just my own.”

“Get hit by a semi.”

“Like I said, baby girl, only if you’re beh...

“All mine, for the rest of your life. I don’t really believe in an afterlife, by the way. But if there is one, you’re mine there as well.”

“What if we go to separate places in the afterlife?” I ask, scoffing a low laugh. “Last I checked, heaven isn’t for murderers.” “Then I’ll just have to drag you down to hell with me.”

It’s troubling, really, how often I think about him railing me.

valid though

“I’ll be your monster, if you want. Your psychopath, your ax murderer. I’ll be anything you want me to be, as long as you can be one thing for me.”

“What do I have to be for you, Kayde?”

“Easy,” Kayde tells me, and I feel the smile against my shoulder. “I just need you to be mine, Summer. All mine, no matter what. Think you can do that for me?”

“Maybe you could just murder adults?” I ask finally, my voice weak. When he nudges my knee that’s pressed to my chest, I acquiesce and drop it off the other side of the limb so that I’m mirroring his pose. “Maybe you could, umm…just chill with the child murder?”

His head tilts to the side, and he reminds me of a curious puppy as he asks, “Would that make you love me?”

“What do you want?” I breathe at last. “You know I’ll give you anything, Kayde. I always do.” I give him everything, my brain corrects, but I recoil from the thought because I’m definitely not ready to face it. Not yet.

“Simple. I want you to love me.”

“Will you love me, sweetheart?” He leans forward until I’m pressed against the trunk again, and his hands grip my thighs on the limb under us. It’s easy for him to push the fabric of my shorts up as far as he can, and teasingly, Kayde tickles my stomach at the line of my waistband. “If I chase him away, will you love me then?”

I would say yes and be on my knees

“Think you can ride me up here, then?” he purrs playfully.