The Age of Empathy: Nature's Lessons for a Kinder Society

by Frans de Waal

Think back to 1997, when a Danish mother left her fourteenth-month-old girl in a stroller outside a Manhattan restaurant. Her child was taken into custody and placed in foster care, while the mother ended up in jail. For most Americans, she was either crazy or criminally negligent, but in fact this mother merely did what Danes are used to. Denmark has incredibly low crime rates, and parents feel that what a child needs most is frisk luft, or fresh air. The mother counted on safety and good air, whereas New York offered neither. The charges against her were eventually dropped. When I recently visited Denmark and asked colleagues if they’d leave a child unattended outside, all of them nodded that, yes, this is what everybody does. Not because they don’t like to have their babies near them, but because it’s so good for them to be out in the open. No one considers the risk of abduction. My hosts were positively puzzled that anyone could consider such a wicked act, and wondered where one would go with an abducted child. If one were to return with it to one’s own neighborhood, they surmised, wouldn’t everyone ask where that child came from? And wouldn’t the connection be quickly made if newspapers were reporting a missing baby? The faith that Danes unthinkingly place in one another is known as “social capital,” which may well be the most precious capital there is. In survey after survey, Danes have the world’s highest happiness score.