I Got Abducted by Aliens and Now I'm Trapped in a Rom-Com
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19%
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“Defending my kill, protecting you, the simple thrill of a fight to the death? I’m a fucking lion, take your pick.”
30%
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My knees hit the ground before I could even pretend to have an ounce of remaining feminism.
43%
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Some would call ignoring your problems unhealthy. I call it an art form. Lose out on that scholarship? Crochet a jellyfish. Ring cam showed your overbearing mom on your doorstep with some lawyer’s son? Go for a hike until they leave. Crazy possessive alien mate problems? Distract, deflect, ignore!
68%
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“That means you won your little war, so now you can go be king of all the other little goat people and leave us the fuck alone.”
71%
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“Let’s just say the audacity of men is universal.”
79%
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Before you, a vine was just a vine. Now I fret over their plans for world domination. You make the mundane precious.”
79%
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There was a flutter in my chest, which I hoped to god was love and not cyanide.