More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
Rex is my only friend now. He’s silent. So am I. Mommy hates that I don’t talk to her anymore, but I like keeping things to myself. Everything I say always results in a slap across my face or her yelling at me. He’s the only one who talks to me now without using words. My best friend. My protector. My hero until Daddy comes home.
When I turn eight, I don’t get any birthday cards or a cake like the other kids in the orphanage—I sit under the bed with a drawing of my spider and imagine a crowd of people singing happy birthday to me, and we blow out candles that I draw. I close my eyes and make a wish. I wish someone would choose me.
Without thinking, because I want her to like me too, I lift my hands and sign, Please don’t be afraid of me.
She won’t be taken from me. I’ll make sure of it. I’ll be good. I’ll do as I’m told. I’ll be the kid they obviously needed to complete their family. Olivia. My new little sister. I couldn’t protect my mom or Rex, but I think I could protect her. I will protect her. Because she’s mine.
I’m imagining him in a body bag. Bloodied. Ripped to shreds. Diced and minced and pulverized. No longer in existence. No one will ever be good enough for Olivia.
The more I look at her, the more I realize how doomed I am. I’ve never had any luck—but she’s the rainbow I’ll fucking chase to win something more important than my own life.
I pull back, watching her ride my cock while I sign, I love you now. I loved you yesterday. When we were kids. When we were teens. When you had me thrown in jail and when I found you again. I’ll love you tomorrow. Next month. Next year. When you’re mothering my child. And when we’re old and gray, I’ll love you even more, because I’ll have had a fucking lifetime to fall more and more in love with you. Is that enough for you, Olivia? Do you need more from me?
