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“Thank you,” I said quietly, knowing he couldn’t hear me. “Thank you for her.”
“Sometimes you have to leave so you can know what it is you left. You don’t really value something until you’ve lost it.”
“We attack it immediately and without mercy. We start with chemo, and we move forward. We fight. She fights. And when she’s too tired to fight, then you do what you can to fight for her, because this is an all-out war.”
I’ll save you a seat on the other side, brother, but take your time. Take every single second you can. You are the only brother I would have wished for, and my very best friend. And just in case no one ever told you—you’re worthy. Of love. Of family. Of home.
“She looks like such a docile little thing. You’d never guess she’d be capable of ripping someone apart.” “She’s like any other woman in that regard, ma’am.”
“Like someone picks up your life and shakes it like a snow globe,” Ella offered. “It seems to take forever for the pieces to settle, and then they’re never in the same place.”
“Don’t let go,” she whispered. Her hands were still between us, but she wasn’t pushing me away, they were simply resting on my pecs. If anything, she leaned in. “I’d forgotten what this felt like.” “Being hugged?” My voice was sandpaper-rough. “Being held together.”
“Play my position, show no fear, and tonight we dine on the souls of our enemies!”
As you get bigger, you’ll see that it’s not how you handle the wins that make you a good man, it’s how you handle the losses.”
“You don’t see me like that. I totally get it.”
“You don’t think I want you.”
“I want you.”
“Ella. I want you.” “Beckett…you don’t have to.”
“I’ve never wanted a woman as much as I want you.”
“Don’t ever think that I don’t want you, because if things were different, I would have already been inside you. I would know exactly how you feel, and what you sound like, look like, when you come. I’ve thought about it at least a hundred different ways, and believe me, I’ve got a great imagination.”
My kids were now Beckett’s, too. And I was head over heels in love with him. …
“I love you.”
“I love you,”
“I’m in love with you. I was in love with you before we slept together, and I’ll be in love with you for the rest of my life if my heart is any indication. Nothing about last night changed that. I’m me. You’re you. We’re…whatever you want us to be.”
“I just…I kind of thought you were my dad. Or maybe you would be one day. And then you were gone.”
We are imperfect people made that way by an imperfect world, and we don’t always get a say in what shapes us.
“I love you so much.”
“I love you, too, Beckett.”
“I think I’m dying,” he whispered. “You’re really hurt,”
“It’s okay. Don’t be sad. Tell Mom and Maisie not to be sad, either.” He took several labored breaths. “I get to see Uncle Ryan.”
“Just hold on, bud. There’s so much you haven’t done yet. There’s so much to do.” He looked at me, love shining out of his eyes. “I got to have you. Just like a dad.”
“Oh, Colt. We were going to tell you. We were just waiting for Maisie to be okay, but I adopted you last year. You’ve had a dad for a while.
One who loves you more than the moon and stars.” His breaths came slower and slower, each one a Herculean effort, but he still managed a smile. “You’re my dad.” “I’m your dad.” “So this is what it feels like.” He reached over, his hand cold as he laid it against my cheek. “I love having a dad.” “I love being your dad, Colt. You are the best little boy I could have ever been given. I’m so proud of you.”
“Always. I will always be your dad. No matter what. Nothing will change that.”
“Colton Ryan MacKenzie-Gentry. I got everything I ever wanted.”
“Tell Mom and Maisie I love them.”
“I will. They love you so much. You have a mom, and a dad, and a sister who would do anything for you.” “I love you, Dad,” he whispered. “I love you, Colt.”
He pressed his chilled lips to my forehead. “I love you. I will always love you.” I rose on my toes and pressed my lips to his in a gentle kiss. “I love you. Now, forever. All of it.”
