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“I can’t stop thinking about it. About you. That night. You sure as fuck don’t make it easy to forget when you look at me like you wish we could do it all over again.”
I love it when she says my name.
She’s decided we’ll never be more than this: longing looks and daydreams.
Her attempt at changing the subject is cute. As if I’m going to forget any time soon the way she squirted all over my cock.
“Don’t flirt with me.” I tsk, giving her a smirk. “Telling me not to flirt with you is like telling me not to breathe around you. It’s biological, written in my DNA. It sustains my life source.”
“Then don’t breathe.”
At least this way, we can figure out a path forward, and then you can enjoy having your sister home.”
“There is no ‘we,’ Everett. This is my mess. Mine alone.”
I didn’t tell Lou’s father that I was moving out of state. I didn’t have any obligation, either. He gave up his rights to her years ago in exchange for forgiveness on all back child support he owed me. I haven’t seen him since that day in court. He never called on her birthday, or any holiday, never attended any of her school functions or sports games.
He only realized because my father called him. My father.
The claim that my dad would agree my child is better off with her criminally negligent father than she would be with me was like stabbing a searing blade right through my soul.
Leo
He’s selfless, protective, and kind. He cares deeply about those in his life,
“But, I suppose it’s possible your parents could attempt to file for some kind of guardianship if they have strong legal counsel and unlimited funds. Would be a hell of a fight for them, though.”
He doesn’t understand the need to protect, love, and nurture a child. He doesn’t have those qualities in his bones.
Maybe it’ll finally make him understand what we’ve been missing from him all our lives.
So, seeing my own mom put my sister and me behind herself time and time again only proved my fears that she simply doesn’t love us the way a mother should.
“There is no logic to his actions. He’s just scrambling for any ounce of power he can get back, and honestly, he’s probably trying to get revenge too.”
“So, you’re telling me that Monica inadvertently set you up on a one-night-stand with her own son?”
Daddio.”
I’ve always wanted to wait until I found the person I could look at the way my dad looks at my mom.
“You’ve got a crush on my sister-in-law, don’t you?”
It’s then I realize loving the two of them may come far too easily.
I think she likes having you around.”
His face brightens at that.
The intensity in them is too strong, too honest. I want to look away, but I can’t. I can’t ever seem to take my eyes off him when he looks at me this way.
“And I haven’t found that purpose yet. My purpose for healing.” Suddenly, all that intensity—all that focus—is concentrated on me. “But you know what, Dahlia? Taking that kid out on a surfboard and watching her laugh, watching you laugh because of it”—he smiles to himself—“it certainly feels like the sun is shining after years of cloud cover.”
“So, you’re not a fucking obligation. You, your sister, and your daughter, you are exactly what we’ve all been needing.”
“Taking a night off does not make you a bad mother. Going on a date does not make you a bad mother. Having casual, consensual sex does not make you a bad mother.
You’re allowed to be a human being, Dahlia. You are not exclusively tied to that title. You can be a woman. Have a career. Hobbies. Be a friend and a sister. You’re entitled to all of those things—to having an identity outside of Lou’s mother. There is nothing wrong with that.”
“Are we good then? I’ve got a hot blonde I need to see about a thing.” He’s definitely talking about fucking my sister right now.
“I just want my daughter to have better than I did. That’s the only thing that matters to me.”
“Swear to God, Honeysuckle, I’m gonna get you pregnant later,” he murmurs between what sounds like mauled, rough kisses.
Darby giggles. “Dare ya, heathen.”
“Can I be forward enough to say that you do look utterly fuckable in that?”
I’ve never thought the simple brush of legs could be erotic before, but I swear, my body is on fire in all the places our bodies meet, even through our clothes.
Grief kind of feels like a bullet wound that never fully heals.
I watched their father, Alex, tell August it was his fault and storm out of the emergency room. I don’t think Alex and August have spoken since.
She’s so beautiful, features so graceful as she takes in the imagery around her. Looking at her makes it hard to breathe, makes me feel like I need to clutch my chest and ensure I’m not dying.
“No. But the way you speak to her sometimes—the flirting—it’s like you’re playing games. She cannot be played with that way, Everett.”
“But I met Dahlia and only knew her for exactly who she is. Have you ever considered that she might want a break from being someone’s sister? Someone’s mom? The daughter of a fucking psychopath? Have you ever thought that maybe she just needs a safe place to breathe? To play? That maybe I’m trying to be that for her? I’m not trying to fuck and forget her, Leo.”
She’d taken root in my mind the second she sat down next to me at that bar.
I’m entirely caught up in her, entwined, and I don’t want to be untangled.
For the first time, I consider the fact that maybe I’ve gotten used to leaving someone before they realize that nothing but myself isn’t enough.
For the first time, I realize that I don’t want to leave Dahlia before she notices that. I just want to figure out a way to be enough for her.
“You know, they say you’re supposed to imagine everyone naked during shit like this, but I think if I tried doing that, I’d only end up imagining you naked—maybe in nothing but those heels—and I’d really embarrass myself here.”
“That was awful. Let’s never do that again.”
“Not with whatever darkness just passed across your eyes. You don’t pretend that doesn’t exist. You don’t hold that in. Not with me.”
“Some days are just harder than others. Today is always a hard day.”
“You’ve made this easier.” “You make things easier too,” she whispers.
