Anyone But Me

by J.D. Frost

I’ve seen him shirtless tons of times in the locker room after gym class, but never this up close. He’s… breathtaking. His defined muscles, his broad shoulders, the trail of hair leading down from his belly button. I take it all in, committing every sharp edge and curved line to memory, not wanting to forget a single part of him. And the heat he radiates… Asher is the sun and I’m helpless to do anything but be sucked into his orbit.

“Deeper. Yeah, that’s it. Hold it there. Choke on my cock, baby. Let me hear how much you love it.”

“Jesus, Oakley. I love it when you go all dominant on me.” I love it, too. You wouldn’t think this would be the dynamic, just from looking at us. Asher’s this big, macho football player who could probably bench-press me in his sleep. I’m a couple of inches shorter than him, and a hell of a lot leaner too. If anyone were ever to find out about us, they’d all assume that he’s the aggressor, the one doing the taking. It’s so damn hot that that couldn’t be any further from the truth.

“Where are you going?” he asks, voice groggy. “I thought that—” He huffs and moves over a bit, lifting the covers again to pat the empty space beside him. “Get in here, Farrow. Stop overthinking it.” I roll my eyes, tempted to leave anyway just to piss him off, but find myself climbing in instead. I settle against the pillows, stilling when his big body wraps around mine, encasing me in his warmth. His arms are folded around my middle, face pressed between my shoulder blades, one thick thigh wedged between my legs. I couldn't move even if I tried. “Night, Oakley,” he whispers. I swallow, fighting and failing to keep the grin off of my face. “Night, Asher.”

I think it’s safe to say that my feelings for him go a little ways past just thinking of him as some casual hookup. I’ve been afraid to admit the truth, even to myself. Asher means something to me, what that is I’m still unsure, though I do have a pretty good idea.

My breath catches at the sight of him and I know right then, it doesn’t matter about all the other stuff, the reasons why this is a bad idea, because I don’t have the strength to walk away from Asher Brooks and I’ll take whatever scraps he can give me, even if I know I’ll inevitably end up hurt in the long run.

“You think you could pick her up a little later?” “Why do you ask?” The corner of his mouth ticks higher, making that damn dimple pop out. Right then, I know I’m a goner. I’ll agree to anything he asks me. “I wanna take you somewhere.” My eyes narrow. “Where?” “You’ll see.

His smile ratchets up to near-blinding levels and I realize with such terrifying clarity that I am in so much fucking trouble when it comes to Asher Brooks.

Friend. The lie tastes bitter on my tongue. He’s never been my friend. Never will be, either. He’s so much more than that.

“I don’t wanna go back there,” she whispers. “We don’t have to. We can stay here as long as we like. Mrs. S already offered.” I was hoping those words would provide her with some relief, but all they seem to do is make her panic spike again. “What if he finds us? He’ll be angry.” I squeeze her tighter to me, dropping a kiss in her hair. “I’ll figure something out. You’ll be safe, April. I swear.” “It’s not me I’m worried about.” My throat spasms mid-swallow, catching on the sudden lump that’s formed there. I’ve always been afraid that my uncle will go too far one day. Hell, last night I was convinced I was about to meet my end. But, I didn’t know April was scared about that, too. Worried that one day he’d kill me. Mustering every ounce of faux confidence I can manage, I say, “You never have to worry about that. I’m not going anywhere.” I hope like hell that’s true.

He tips his head back, laughing so loud I can hear it over the music. And then, he starts belting out the lyrics. He’s completely off-key, messing up the words more than he gets them right, but he doesn’t care. He’s having the time of his life. I try to hide my smile, which is impossible when he adds his terrible dancing to the mix. Before I know it, I’m singing and dancing and laughing like a fool right along with him. And you know what? It feels damn fucking good.

His whole face is flushed now, even his ears. Seeing Asher Brooks embarrassed is not a sight I’m familiar with.

“Oakley, you are the only person I can be myself around. My real self. Even if I was into Peyton like that, which I’m not, she’s not you. I only want you.”

“This isn’t just screwing around for me,” he murmurs. “It never has been. I… like you, Oakley. Really like you. So much that it drives me crazy, makes me do stupid things.” He huffs out an awkward laugh. “Like treating you like shit for a whole year, just so I had an excuse to be near you.”

“I’m not trying to pressure you,” he continues. “I just want you to know that I get it. And when you’re ready to let me in, I’ll share the weight. You don’t have to do this alone, Oakley. Not anymore.”

“You’re perfect.” This time, it’s my turn to blush. I duck my head, trying to avoid his gaze, but he just forces my head up again. Our lips meet, tongues sliding together. Asher moans, long and low, gripping my arms to haul me closer. And there isn’t another place in the whole damn world that I’d rather be, than right here.

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” he asks, looking me over. I shake my head. “Not at all. It kind of… turned me on, actually.” He hums, grinding our hips together. “I can tell.”

“That’s right, I forgot. You want them to see you, want them to know how fucking filthy you are.” He cries out and I grin like the devil. “Let’s see how loud I have to make you scream for someone to come looking.

“Look at you, so wound up already,” I taunt, biting down on his earlobe. “You want it pretty bad, huh?” He whines and the sound goes straight to my dick. “Oakley, please. Touch me.” “Don’t worry, baby. I’ve got you.”

“You taste so fucking good, baby,” I say. “So sweet. So… mine.”

Clear your schedule for tonight. You’re mine.

It’s easy to pretend that nothing else exists when I’m with Asher. That I’m not still living under my uncle’s rule and heading right back into the lion’s den tomorrow. It’s just the two of us, living in our own world, tearing down each other’s walls and catching some serious feelings along the way. Jesus, what did that happen? I might not be able to be a hundred percent honest with him about everything, but I can try to show him what he means to me. I owe him that, at least.

“How’d you find this place?” “Sienna told me about it once. I thought it’d be a nice change for us. Something peaceful. Romantic.” He quirks a brow and my cheeks flame, but I continue on. “There are no rules here. Nobody breathing down our necks or trying to control our futures. It’s just me, you, the stars…” I pause, jerking my chin toward the truck bed. “And a shit-ton of food.”

It feels wrong to lie to him, to not be a hundred percent honest. But more than that, I don’t want it to be like this anymore. This thing with Asher, it’s real. The most real thing in my life. I want him to know every single thing about me. Not just my favorite ice cream, but to know me all the way down to the depths of my soul. To know my biggest fears and deepest desires, what makes me tick and what ticks me off, without me having to say a word. Like he said earlier, I just want him to know me. And I can’t do that with this colossal secret between us. But… I can’t tell him the truth, either. No matter how much I want to. I’m in a fucking impossible situation.

“And what does that look like? A life that’s entirely up to you?” “I’d still play football. I wasn’t kidding when I said I love it.” “What else?” “I’d want to earn a scholarship to a college of my choice. Not one where my dad basically paid my way in. I’d play for four years, get my degree, actually enjoy myself. And if I make it to the NFL, great. If not, then that’s okay too. Either way, it’ll be entirely down to me.” He turns, looking right at me. “And I’d want you there, too.” I swallow hard, try to slow my racing heart. He has no idea how much I long for that, too. To be a part of his life, to stand by his side. Helping him through the hard parts and celebrating the good parts. To be his rock, his unwavering support. God, I want that so much it physically hurts.

“I feel the same way. When I got beat up that night, I thought I was gonna die.” His wide eyes shoot to mine, lips parted in shock. “I accepted it. But then your face popped into my head. You told me to fight, to get back up and not let this be how things end. And… I did. Just hearing your voice, seeing your face, even if only inside my head, it gave me the strength I needed to get away. To live. You saved my life, Asher.”

“I’m so sorry for the way I treated you before.” His voice cracks and he shakes his head, tears pooling in his eyes. “I was a coward. Too dumb and immature to deal with the boatload of feelings I felt when I first saw you. I thought hurting you would make them go away, but it didn’t. It only made me want you more.” I pull him in by the back of his neck, dropping my forehead down onto his. “Fuck that. I don’t want you to be sorry.” “You don’t?” “No. Because we wouldn’t be where we are right now if it weren’t for you making me hate your guts.” He laughs and calls me an ass, then he kisses me.

“Are you sure?” “Never been more sure of anything in my life.”

A stronger man would resist his pleas, would keep teasing him until he’s an incoherent mess. But when it comes to Asher Brooks, I’m the weakest motherfucker there is. I can’t resist him, even if I wanted to.

“Look at you,” I growl. “Stretched out around me, moaning so loud they’ll hear you three towns over. You love it, don’t you? You love my cock. You’re a slut for it.”

“You shouldn’t have let me do this, Ash,” I tell him, our foreheads mashed together. “Now, I’m gonna want a piece of this ass every fucking day. Think you can handle that?”

“Oakley, I…” His lips part and he exhales shakily. Maybe it’s the look in his eyes, the raw vulnerability shining there, or the way his voice cracked when he whispered my name. Whatever it is, I just know what he’s trying to tell me and there isn’t a single cell in my entire body that doesn’t feel the same way. I kiss him softly. “I know. I do, too.”

I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow when I have to go back to my uncle’s house, or a week from now or a month from now. But being here with Asher, none of that matters. The future’s so uncertain and there’s a lot of obstacles we’ll have to face, but one thing’s for sure: we’ll always have tonight. We’ll always be able to remember this, remember the way we felt as we stared at each other beneath the stars. The fear, the excitement, the love. Fuck, the love. I’m in love with Asher fucking Brooks. Who’d have thought?

Right at that second, in a complete full circle moment, thunder cracks and the heavens open. We both jump up and scramble to grab our clothes, trying to avoid the downpour, but we’re already soaked to the bone before we even make it off of the truck bed. Asher runs and slips in the mud and my door gets stuck for a minute and it’s a complete fucking disaster. But when we’re finally back inside the truck, half-naked with water dripping from every inch of us, we just stare at each other for a beat before bursting into laughter. The kind of laughter that has tears streaming from your eyes and makes your stomach hurt. And man, it feels so damn good.

“See something you like, Farrow?” I grit my teeth, shoulders tense. She’s fucking loving every second of this, knowing that she’s won. That Asher’s finally hers. And that’s all it really boils down to, isn’t it? He was never really mine, no matter how much I thought he was.

“Did it feel real? When we were together?” I’ve spent the last week trying to convince myself that it didn’t, that it was all a big lie. But, I could never fully do it. Something deep inside of me wouldn’t let me. And I guess that alone is enough to give me my answer. “Yes.” “Then, believe that. Because it was real. Every single fucking second of it, Oakley. It was all real.”

“You want it hard, huh?” I growl, sinking my teeth into the side of his throat. “You want me to fuck you so good that you won’t be able to walk? So that everyone will take one look at you and know your ass belongs to me? You’re mine, Ash, and I’m never letting you go again.”

“Say it. Say you’re mine.” “I’m yours, Oakley. I’ll always be yours.”

“Wanna feel you when I win the game,” he continues. “Wanna feel how much you own me.” A month ago, Asher stood in front of me, watching me bleed, telling me that he owned me and it seemed like the worst thing in the world. And now, here he is, begging for me to own him. It’s mind-bending. But he was right, though. He does own me, in every sense of the word. I’m a hundred percent Asher’s.

“There’s a party tonight at my place,” he says, rubbing a hand along the back of his neck. “Kind of a celebrate if we win and drown our sorrows if we lose type of thing. Will you come?” I clear my throat. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? What if your dad sees?” “He won’t be there. He’s leaving right after the game to go to some business conference halfway across the country. And… I don’t care anymore. I want to be with you. Fuck the consequences.”

He’s alive, but barely. Somebody hurt him, tried to kill him, and I wasn’t there. I wasn’t there to protect him. The one thing I always promised to do, and I failed. Instead, I was at a stupid fucking party, celebrating something that doesn’t mean shit compared to Oakley. Nothing matters if he’s not with me to share it. Absolutely nothing.

“Please don’t leave me,” I cry, my tears soaking the blanket wrapped around him. “Please, Oakley. I can’t do this without you. I love you.”

I should have fucking told him before, that night we were together in the truck. Should have said the words instead of just chickening out, making him guess what I was trying to say. Of course, he knew. He’s always known what I’m thinking, without even having to try. But, I still should have said it. Told him how I feel. How I’ve felt since the second I first saw him. He walked through those doors on his first day at school and it was like somebody had taken an anvil to my chest. Just one look at him, at his soulful eyes and stony expression, and I was f...

“Come back to me, baby,” I whisper....

I’ll never leave him again, never let anyone even think about hurting him. I’ll keep him safe. Make him happy everyday for the rest of his life. Love him so damn good that he’...

I thought I had him. For one, far too brief, moment in time, Oakley Farrow was mine. I held everything I ever wanted in the palm of my hand, our future together so close that I could almost reach out and touch it. And now, I don’t have him anymore. I don’t have anything.

“Jesus, it’s gonna be like losing them all over again. He needs someone to be there for him. He needs— he needs—” He needs me.

“Dad?” “What is it, son?” “I, uh…” I try to tamp down my nerves, force myself to take a steadying breath. “A scout came to the game on Friday, from the Golden Bears. And they want me.” His eyes grow comically wide. “California Golden Bears? You want to go to Berkeley?” “I-I think so.” His mouth opens and closes, then opens again. “I didn’t— I didn’t know that you— That’s fantastic, Asher.” “Really?” “Yes, really. I meant what I said before. I want to be the dad you deserve, and if Berkeley’s your dream, then I will support you every step of the way.” It is my dream, but only if Oakley’s there with me.

“I can’t believe I ever thought he was messing around with Peyton. You two? It makes so much more sense.” My brows shoot up. “Really?” “Oh, yeah. You suit each other. Polar opposites, but also… the same. I can’t explain it.” “Yeah. I know what you mean.” Two halves of a whole, that’s the way I always thought of us.

There are no frown lines on his forehead, the bags beneath his eyes have faded some. It doesn’t matter, though. Oakley Farrow’s always been beautiful to me, no matter what he looks like.