The Spider & the Storm

by Kelsey Kingsley

Because sometimes, our memories were crueler than the ghosts that haunted us, and the only thing you could do to chase them away was to caffeinate and wake the hell up.

It was hard to let go of someone you’d built so much of your life around.

If soulmates existed—and I believed they did—wasn't it possible for that affection to have been there, manifesting and building, over the course of … well … forever?

So, as far as I'm concerned, you're the real winner here. Because I'm a fucking prize.”

“Let it go, Charlie,” she whispered, touching her forehead to mine. “And until you do, I'll love you enough for both of us.”

“My soul doesn't know how to not love yours. All I had to do was meet you to know that I had been put into this universe to hold you and protect you and shelter you from every terrible thing that had ever come your way until you were strong enough to face it on your own. And whenever that happens, if ever it does, my soul will stand beside yours, even while the rest of the world has been conditioned to run from us both.”

I think, sometimes, we're supposed to experience pain in order to make us change.” I gnawed on my lip, keeping my eyes fixated on that ring of light, blurred at the edges. “I just wish it didn't hurt so fucking bad.” Her palm covered mine. I didn't take her hand or wrap my fingers around hers, but feeling her touch was enough to help me breathe. “I know. But if it didn't hurt, could you say you ever loved him at all?”

“Why give myself to another man if the possibility of being hurt again was there? Why give myself permission to love if it eventually, in one way or another, leads to pain? And, yeah, it is a choice we make to open ourselves up like that, but I think we make it because, ultimately, that's what living is all about.”

“Everything is better with love, Charlie,” she replied, curling her fingers around mine. “It can survive anything, and where there is love, nothing is empty … not even death.”

Whatever they told you about grief dulling with time was bullshit. You just got better at hiding it while its deep cuts opened over and over and over again, bleeding all over your broken heart.