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It feels like every time I get my hopes up for something good, reality comes out swinging. I don’t know how to be a hopeful person anymore. It’s easier not to be.
I don’t want to settle for something just to say I have it.
I want to feel something when I connect with someone. I want sparks. The good kind, you know? I want to laugh and mean it. I want goose bumps. I want to wonder what my date is thinking about and hope it might be me. I want…I want the magic.”
“When the whole world tells you you’re silly for wanting the things you want, you start to believe them. You start to think you’re not worth it. That if the things you’re waiting for do exist, they’re not for someone like you.”
“But what’s wrong with being a romantic? I can be a confident, independent woman and still want someone to hold my hand. To ask about my day. It’s a good thing to want passion and excitement and care. Attention and affection. I don’t want to settle for anything less than that.
“You don’t have to be alone to be lonely.”
Icebreakers are my personal form of hell.
Sometimes a little discomfort is a good thing. A necessary thing. A thing that leads to better things.
“I like that. Thinking that I’m worth paying attention to. Something ordinary made extraordinary by the person you’re sharing it with.”
My hands must be cold because she shivers, her eyes jumping to mine. They really are the prettiest green. Pale emerald in the center, a dark ring at the edges. Like treasure beneath still waters.
“I don’t concern myself with the fragile egos of men.”
I brace myself for something horrifying. He’s a convicted murderer on the run. He doesn’t think Die Hard is a Christmas movie. He eats his chicken nuggets without sauce.
“I want to feel it first and think about it second. I want to be in the moment and not worry about what’s coming next. I don’t want to twist myself into circles over the idea of a partner.”
“Because you said it was your favorite,” I admit. “And I want your favorite to be my favorite.”
Eavesdropping is juvenile, but curiosity is a bitch.
I’ve been here before. I know this feeling. The sinking realization that my feelings don’t match up. That I’ve felt too much too fast and made assumptions. Misread the situation and projected my own hopes on another person.
“Not wanting me to go isn’t the same as wanting me to stay.
It makes it better, doesn’t it? To know how temporary it all is. To know how special. Love isn’t”—he sighs, a deep, rumbling sound—“love isn’t always sunshine and daisies.
“If someone gives you something, you have it. You don’t have to earn it.”
“I know what falling in love feels like because I’ve been falling in love with you.”

