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“If you touch something of mine, I get to touch something of yours, but I guess you tried to get me to feel you up during prayer, so that counts.”
But I neither want to die nor am I afraid of it, so I get to be something you’ll never be.”
“You’re fun to toy with, but you’re not fun to be with. You’re too uptight.”
“Oh, pardon me. So you’re Sarahhh, like a really good orgasm.”
“If you touch something that’s mine, I get to touch something that’s yours.”
“What should we play?” he asked so seductively that I stopped breathing. “Jesus Loves Me,” I whispered.
Isaac Cory exuded enough confidence for both of us. “Satisfied?” he asked after the last note. My grin won. “Satisfied for now.” “Sunday Morning?” “Huh?” He jerked his head toward the front of the barn. “Get out of here.”
“I told him to make you come first,”
“As for you, I’d say you should fake it. Make Matty feel like a god his first time. Not your god, of course. Unless that’s what does it for you.”
I knew the first time wouldn’t be Disneyland, but I at least expected Six Flags. Instead, I got a cheap, small-town carnival where the ride broke, and I was stuck upside down for twenty minutes.
Matt had claimed me with a third of his thingy and repeated declarations of love and the prospect of marriage.
“I know the tenth commandment is Thou shalt not covet. And I’ve been breaking that one a lot lately,”
“Sunday Morning, I’ve been coveting the fuck out of you since Easter Sunday,” he said, strolling out of the barn. I died and went straight to Hell.
He remembered how long a woman’s menstrual cycle lasted, but he didn’t remember the location of the clitoris?
“If revenge isn’t memorable, then it’s not really revenge. Is it? That will be on there for a while. It will be memorable,”
And my brother has thousands of dollars saved up, but he’s never given you the one thing that makes your heart sing. He doesn’t see you. How can you take off your clothes for someone who doesn’t. Fucking. See. You?”
“You look at me like Matty’s not getting the job done.”
My summer wasn’t off to the best start, and I blamed all three of the Cory men.
“The problem is, I need something to occupy my lips if I can’t have a cigarette between them.”
I’m trying to free you. You’re too big for this little town. You’re a wanderer with dreams too vast to walk a straight line. I’m not trying to steal you from God or Matty.
“Fuck, Sunday Morning. You’re making my dick hard by calling me Satan. I might have to say a few extra prayers at church this Sunday.”
“Then I’ll get out of here so you can disappoint God.”
“You are truly,” Isaac pulled my hair away from my shoulders as he positioned himself behind me, “the most breathtaking woman I have ever seen.” He kissed my shoulder and ghosted his fingertips down my arms until they were covered in goosebumps.
“If only I were him.”
Isaac didn’t just see who I was; he saw everything I wanted to be.
“It happened,” I whispered. A gorgeous grin stole his lips. “It happened,” he echoed. Isaac was right. I hopped down and headed toward my house with my chin held high because it happened.
I liked kissing my boyfriend’s brother. I liked his hands on my face. I liked the confidence with which he kissed me. I liked how my thoughts vanished, and that voice of common sense was silenced.
“I love seeing you flushed, breathless, and I imagine … wet.”
I needed to break up with my boyfriend so his brother could kiss my breast and touch me between my legs without making me feel guilty.
“Say it again,” I said, stepping onto the running board and removing his hat while he slid one hand along my backside. “With me,” he said before kissing me.
“I was just thinking I could eat your center and then cover it up with frosting, but I enjoy frosting, so I’d end up eating you twice.” Splat.
“Most days, it’s all I want.”
“Use your power.”
“Every day is Sunday Morning in my world.”
“Between my brother’s girlfriend’s legs? No.”
“Baby,” he laughed, “you don’t belong to anyone. I could lasso you, but you’d break free. I’m not taking anything that’s not given to me.”
“Do you like how I feel between your legs?”
“Look at you, baby. Who wouldn’t want to take you?”
“Idle hands must mean you’ve gotten your fill of my body.” He jackknifed to sitting.
And that thingy in his briefs was huge and stiff-looking.
“Baby, don’t ever suck a man’s dick for anything except you having a good old hankering for it. Okay?”
Nothing about that night felt real, but everything about it felt right.
Oh my God gosh.
“Stop using sex as currency. All right? We’ll have it when you want to have it for no other reason than you want to have it.”
And while you make me feel like anything is possible when I’m with you, I also feel like I’m disappointing everyone else around me. I’ve spent too many years trying to please people. And when I do something that I know will not please anyone but me, I feel selfish, and the guilt is unbearable.”
I realized the thing I felt the most was my heart aching with love. Not the first kind of love with butterflies. Not the kind that was earned over time, an extension of loyalty. I loved Isaac in an all-consuming, jumping-off-the-cliff, be-damned-the-consequences sort of way. “Baby,” he whispered over my lips as I rocked my hips with his in a building rhythm. “I’m okay with dying right here—inside of you.”
“I’m sorry we feel like a lie. I’m sorry that this will hurt a lot of people we love. But, baby,” he kissed the top of my head, “I wouldn’t change what’s happened. My feelings for you are too big; they don’t leave any room for regret.”
That look—the one she gave me—was bigger and better than anything in the whole fucking galaxy. With one single look, she simplified my existence and the meaning of my life to a singular purpose: spend every day working to earn that look from her.
Matty could have the fame and fortune. World titles and fancy cars. He could have six days and nights. I only wanted Sunday Morning. I just wanted the girl.
I needed his arms around me more than anything.
