A Torch Against the Night (An Ember in the Ashes, #2)

by Sabaa Tahir

“She didn’t make a mistake, Laia.” We step out into the open land beyond the orchard, and I survey the storm building over the Serran Mountain Range, a hundred miles away. “She let us go.” What I don’t understand is why.

WHAT!!???

“I’m not supposed to be here,” I say. “I’m not dead.” She regards me for a long time before cocking her head like a curious bird. “But you are dead,” she says. “You just don’t know it yet.”

OKAY WHATTTTTT!!!!!

“Don’t you dare fade out on me again, Elias Veturius.”

“Tell me another memory,” she demands. “Something good.” “You,” I say. “The—the first time I saw you. You’re beautiful, but there are lots of beautiful girls, and—” Find the words. Make yourself stay. “That’s not why you stood out. You’re like me. . . .”

“Laia—” You kept me alive. You kept yourself alive. You’re as brave as your mother. Don’t ever let anyone tell you different.

“Laia,” he says gently. “We should talk about it.” Oh skies. “Talk about what?” “Whatever it is that’s bothering you. I can take a guess, but it might be better if you tell me.” “You want to talk now? After weeks of not even looking at me?” “I look at you.” His response is swift, his voice low. “Even when I shouldn’t.”

“This is a bad idea,” he murmurs. We’re so close that I can see a long eyelash that’s landed on his cheek. I can see the hints of blue in his hair. “Then why aren’t you stopping it?” “Because I’m a fool.”

“Even if I am harboring him, what can you do about it? Fight all of Tribe Saif? You’d have to kill every last one of us.” “One man isn’t worth a Tribe.” “But he was worth an Empire?”

And that is when I finally understand what Mamie Rila is doing. She is starting a riot.

“Don’t.” She shakes her head. “Don’t call me that. Everyone calls me that. But not you.” She looks me up and down. “You—you look terrible.”

“You are my temple,” I murmur as I kneel beside her. “You are my priest. You are my prayer. You are my release.”

“She deserves better than you pretending she didn’t exist,”

‘The stars are so different when you’re free.’”

“Give me your guilt. I’ll hold on to it for you, all right? Because you shouldn’t feel this way.”

Did i just fall in love with him? … :'(

But it’s not dwelling, I think. It’s remembering. And remembering is not nothing.

“Stop.” Izzi’s eye flashes. “You always think everyone is your responsibility, Elias. But we’re not. We’re our own people, and we deserve to make our own decisions.” Her voice trembles with an uncharacteristic anger. “I didn’t die because of you. I died because I wanted to save someone else. Don’t you dare take that away from me.”

Izzi tilts her head and puts a ghostly hand to my face. “Sometimes, Elias,” she says, “loneliness is a choice.” She fades at the edges, bits of her disappearing as delicately as dandelion fluff. “Tell Laia I wasn’t afraid. She was worried.”

Just get through today, I tell myself. Then you can die in peace.

I CANT :’(

“Rise, Elias Veturius.” Tas smacks my face, and I blink at him in surprise. His eyes are fierce. “You gave me a name,”

“I want to live to hear it on the lips of others. Rise.”