What am I without Thad? Shame is in me, tugging at the corner of my mind, but underneath it all is a logical fury that is growing. It is the rage of a man who had come so close — God, I had come so damned close to real purpose, real drive and satisfaction— and here is just another wretched place. I want to lie down. I have that sinking feeling in me, where lying down forever feels attractive.
