The Devils (The Devils, #1)

by Joe Abercrombie

Theology had never really been his strong suit, but he was reasonably sure the Saviour had talked a lot about mercy.

Not a good brother then

“Fuck yourself!” she screamed at him. A monk gawped at her from the carriage, with a bloody mouth and that look of sweaty panic tourists get in the Holy City, so she shrieked, “And you can fuck yourself, too! Fuck each other,” she added, half-hearted as she hobbled away.

I love her already

“Is she … one of my flock?” he stammered. That quirk became a grin. “Baaaaaa,” she said.

“If I’ve learned one thing in all my years of using one, it’s that men with swords die every bit as easily as other men, and usually much sooner.

“But I insisted he keep his clothes on!” Baptiste burst out laughing, then her laughter became a chuckle, and the chuckle petered out into awkward silence. She dabbed her eyes. “He died of syphilis.”

Omg

“Dead?” whispered Brother Diaz. “As fuck.” Baptiste gave his shoulders a parting squeeze. “She’s dead as fuck.”

The oaths would keep him standing when his flesh failed. When his courage failed. When his faith failed.

Everyone’s scared all the time. That’s the thing you’ve got to tell yourself.

If people don’t like you, it’s their problem, don’t make yourself suffer for it. Fuck ’em, she’d always said. You’ll find enough folk want you to suffer, there’s no need to help the bastards.

Made Sunny feel useful. Like she was in a family.

Sunny once heard it said that loaves are all about the grooves. They won’t rise properly without them. Maybe people are the same. They’ll never come out well unless they’re cut a bit.

“That’s my fucking monk!” Vigga crashed down on the fish-man knees first, ramming him into the deck in a crumpled heap.

Its love

My uncle used to say I had a God-given talent. I’ve really never found anyone who could match me.”

Sus

“Can you win?” “Eh…” She dropped forwards onto her hands, blood soaking through her vest, running down one tattooed arm in streaks. “Sometimes…” There was no escaping Cardinal Zizka’s conclusion. “A devil is what you need.”

He’d fought many duels. Enough to know when he wasn’t going to win. But when you can’t die, a draw is enough.

The details of the story were already fading. As far as Vigga was concerned, there was just one important lesson to take away from it. Brother Diaz’s cock worked.

Lmfao

She reached out, and paused a moment, then very gently took Alex’s hand. “Trust me.” “I trust you,” whispered Alex. She regretted it right off.

Please dont be foreshadowing

“Fuck…” he growled, pushing his fingers into her hair, pulling her close. “It.”

A fuck it moment? Written by a man!? And I kicked my feet like this was Xaden and Violet

Balthazar Sham Ivam Draxi stood among the trees, ripped trousers held up by a length of frayed twine.

My hero

an Empress is wise never to trust anyone too much. Might I rise?”

I knew there was a betrayal coming

“There is more to it, but…” He waved such affectations away. “Balthazar is quite enough.”

He might be my favorite

“It’s meant to be true. You had something. Be thankful for that.” Jakob gave a long, pained sigh. “Now you have to let it go.”

“The uncle?” Jakob gave a weary snort. “That’s your twist? It’s always the fucking uncle.”

Joe has jokes

You came back for us. For me. You are … He paused, staring at nothing. “A good man,” he whispered.

This could’ve been such a good romance. I will never forgive Joe.

“It’s not what you’ve done that makes you good or bad. It’s what you do next.”

“I was cursed by a witch so I cannot die?” “Oh, let us be more specific. You were cursed by your lover so you cannot die.”