Criticism antidote (the gentle start-up): Focus on a complaint without blame by avoiding the word you and focusing on the word I. This reframe avoids blame and focuses instead on what you feel or need from your partner. Defensiveness antidote (take responsibility): Acknowledge and accept your partner’s perspective and offer an apology for actions or behaviors that created the perspective. Contempt antidote (build a culture of appreciation): Create a regular reminder of your partner’s positive traits, actions, or behaviors and ground yourself in gratitude for those features. Stonewalling
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