Criticism: While articulating a complaint is fair game and necessary for a healthy relationship, Dr. Gottman defined criticism as an ad hominem attack on the other person. Defensiveness: In response to criticism, most people will try to protect themselves through defensive strategies with excuses. When we are defensive, we fail to be accountable for our failures and actions. Contempt: Treating the partner with disrespect, attacking the person’s character and core. Dr. Gottman’s research revealed contempt to be the single greatest predictor of divorce. Stonewalling: In response to contempt, one
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