Memorial Days

by Geraldine Brooks

absurdity, puncture pomposity, pull off practical jokes of maddening plausibility. Our family learned

hereditary hypertension and high cholesterol.

this artery is the usual suspect in cases of sudden death like

became one just before we married because I didn’t want to be the end

But for a further thirty days, or sheloshim, the mourner doesn’t wear or buy new clothes, cut hair, listen to music, or take part in any celebrations. At

The idea is to provide an outlet for grief but also a framework to integrate the loss and move on with living.

In Islam a widow observes iddah, a three- or four-month partial withdrawal from the world. She can go to work and do necessary things, but she should not otherwise

In Islam there are specific observances for the third, seventh, and fortieth days after burial. As a reporter in Tehran I attended a shab-e haft, or seventh-night service, for a ninety-year-old

with regular people, ask them about their lives. Explore important issues while also finding the humor in everyday predicaments. It had made a brilliant book.

We will all die. We will all grieve. Women lose their husbands. Widows, widows everywhere. Two of my close friends had lost husbands to cancer, and another,

As a reporter covering catastrophes, I had always tried to find the individual in the big number, the one person whose story, whose individual pain, a reader could relate to.

distinguished American historian with a singular voice, full of compassion and delight and wry observations and self-deprecating humor—layers that covered but never obscured

also felt anguish for all the people who had suffered losses on this day whose beloveds’ quirks and jokes and accomplishments would never be publicly noted.

Ann, like me, is a dog obsessive, and her staff are encouraged to bring their dogs to work.

patted her personality-packed dog Sparky and admired Mary Todd Lincoln, a demure

Why dont i? They come at meim afraid ill fall and the owners always seem to want you to love them as much as they do instantly…

Why had they even needed to ask me? What was the point of stating your wish on your driver’s license if that wish would not be respected? Why hadn’t the resident asked me, or even mentioned that I would get this call? Why had we wasted someone’s chance for life, for health? Later, when I could think clearly, I realized that they

The relentless effort of reporting it, the drug- and booze-enabled writing process, and finally the exhausting tour.

tough, unprosperous backgrounds and both had experienced some unlikely early success—my California-born dad as a singer, my Australian mum as a radio presenter. But for reasons I’ve never understood,

wasn’t

Shes trying to say this is a good trait, but I wonder if it annoyed her ever?

the hurry sickness, the driven temperament.

henpecked his writing

So why am I angry at him? Not merely angry but enraged to an intensity I never felt toward him, even in our worst arguments.

formed a flying wedge around me, managing the flow of people and cars and plates and glasses. They are generally a rowdy

They are one of the rarest of the world’s geese, but they nest in large numbers on Flinders Island, making their home in its temperate wetlands and the tussock grasses around the shack. Encountering them is a high point of my walks.

marital trusts and remainder trusts—went

This was suboptimal timing for a new relationship, since I had already accepted a job in The Wall Street Journal’s Cleveland bureau, and he was heading to an internship on the West Coast. It seemed our affair would be a brief grad school fling and nothing more.

how rich Tony’s years had been: the wealth of experiences, the depth and diversity of his friendships. I had chosen the Vineyard date

funny, moving tributes that captured Tony’s character and his accomplishments.

your

My brain would itch, thinking

Dont like this

foyer of hell.

Nice

Paris grisaille matched

Another good phrase: the Paris grisaille!

he’d probably had a beer with

Did he have to socialize with them?

came across a piece of advice on the craft of novel writing. Your task, as novelist, is to keep pushing your protagonist’s head under water throughout the narrative.

But when you get to the end, you must decide: Will you sink them, or let them swim?

groups, crankily opposing inappropriate development. There is no way to see who would have stood beside me in that alternative life, what kids we might or might not have had together.

There are memories that remain elusive, moments that resist recall. I can’t remember the words I used to tell Bizu that his dad had died. The blackness that descended as I listened to his sobs has expunged that memory. My first conversation with Nathaniel also

She goes into such good detail, meticulously developing every feeling and thought

It’s the grief I had been carrying for the life I would have had, the life I had counted on having.

Our culture is averse to sad. We want people to be happy.

American or Australian

“Those who do not have power over the story that dominates their lives, the power to retell it, rethink it, deconstruct it, joke about it, and change it as times change, truly are powerless,” he said.