There was a strangeness to the event. A discordant vibration. So many joyful summer gatherings had occurred on this lawn. Two weddings, numerous book parties, parties for no reason other than Tony’s love of a party. As the crowd gathered, I kept catching almost-glimpses of him in a turn of a shoulder, the glint of late-afternoon sunlight on blond hair. I noticed Nathaniel, wrung out with jet lag, leaning for support on his girlfriend. I noticed Bizu as he greeted friends with a gracious dignity, his comportment suddenly adult. I noticed his eyes on me, anxious to see if I was doing okay,
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