SPF Me

by Holly Wilde

I recently spent a small fortune on an arsenal of sunscreen from a brand new line called Sentientscreen. The whole line is supposed to be all organic, with nut based moisturizing properties.

"Nut" 😏😂

I dig around in my tote in search of my new bottle of SPF 69.

Of course it’s 69 😂

The bright pink bottle with gold lettering has a phallic design,

OF COURSE IT DOES

Would you rather have to always smell like monster jizz, or wake up with the taste of monster spunk in your mouth

Asking the real questions

“They don’t call us skincare for nothin’. We are here to care for every single inch of your perfect body.”

the way that he is laying down lines up his cock with my belly button. Using the innie like a fleshlight, he humps his little hips up and down against my stomach.

Well. That’s new 😂

I can feel their hands inside me as they give each other a high five, the thin walls of my insides serving as the only barrier between their celebration.

I can’t 😂😂😂

With a sudden push from my explosive contractions, Stick propels out of me. His small body skips across the pool like a stone as he lets out a victory wail.