Deep End

by Ali Hazelwood

“Come on, Luk. I know you think she’s hot. You said so.” Silence. “And I see the way you look at her.” A buzz of unease bursts in the back of my skull. “How do I look at her?” “You know how.”

The subject line just reads What you need. The body: If you decide to go for it, I think it should be me.

“Sometimes I’m afraid that this is the best thing I’ll ever have. For the rest of my life.”

Stay home for long weekends and have morally bankrupt amounts of sex with someone I’m in love with. Kinky, vanilla, I want it all. I want to adopt rescue animals with her. I want to take care of her, and watch her be cold in Sweden, and marvel every day at how much smarter than me she is, and . . . Scarlett.” His thumb swipes under my eye. “Why are you crying?”

His renamed contact reads LUKAS SCARLETT.

I can’t be without you. And for the first time in my life, I don’t care. I think of you all the time, and I want to make plans with you, I want to talk about the future, and I’m fucking happy about it—”

but the way he looked at you . . . I don’t think he’s ever wanted anything or anyone the way he wants you.

“Scarlett.” His fingers come up to my chin. Grab it gently, but tight. “The only time wasted is time we are apart.”