Deep End

by Ali Hazelwood

that’s the problem, isn’t it? There is no right or wrong way to exist. Real life doesn’t come with an instruction manual.

I’m usually comfortable with silences—have to be, since I never really know how to break them—but

The thing is, I love reading Mafia erotica as much as the next girl with daddy issues, and my attraction for fictional guys making scenes in iconic, over-the-top ways is among my most virulent traits.

“I’m afraid of the unpredictability of existing. I’m afraid of not being able to control the direction of my life. I’m afraid that no matter how much I plan, I won’t be able to avoid hurtful and sad things.

“Mostly, I’m afraid of attempting something and not being perfect at it.”