Deep End

by Ali Hazelwood

“Because I just asked you to, Scarlett.”

If you decide to go for it, I think it should be me.

“You really do like your authority figures, don’t you?”

“Way more,” he adds. “I guarantee it.”

Unknown: I do. I have a thing for women who are smarter than me.

You just keep your head down. Focus on what you can control, and cut the rest out as much as you can without letting your world collapse.

“Just because Pen shared something about me she should never have, it doesn’t mean that you know me.”

“You know who I want to have sex with.”

I don’t get to finish that sentence. Because Lukas Blomqvist takes a long step, pushes me into the wall, and kisses me.

I swallow. “I just want to be told what to do. For once.”

“That’s good. Because you look fantastic with my cock in your mouth.”

“You always smell so fucking good,”

“I dreamt about fucking you.”

“You are even wetter than in the lab. Is it because I didn’t let you come? Because I’m in charge?”

“Because sometimes I can’t breathe when you’re around.”

“Since you’ll take what I fucking give you.”

“If you don’t think that I’m very aware of your presence, always, you have no idea what’s going on.”

“It’ll be okay, baby. No matter what happens, you will still be you. No matter what happens, you will be okay.” “But what do I do in the meantime?” “In the meantime…just cry it out.”

“I fuck you because you’re the most perfect thing I’ve ever felt, Scarlett.”

“Confidence is not about being able to do shit, Vandy. Confidence is showing up, and trying, and not giving up because deep in your heart you know who you are and what you’re capable of.”

“You are very beautiful. Have I told you?”

“I swear, Scarlett. I think about the ways I’ve fucked you all the time. Replay them in my head so much, I’m afraid they’ll wear off.”

“But I can’t remember whether I told you how beautiful you are. And it’s been driving me crazy.”

“My brilliant, beautiful girl.”

“You’re fucking adorable, Scarlett.”

“I don’t know why it’s such a turn-on that you’re so much smarter than me, but every time we have a project meeting, I have to go home and jerk off until my dick is raw.”

“Shut the fuck up, you brilliant, beautiful genius.”

“I knew you wouldn’t mind. Being my precious toy. My girl. Mine to use. Mine to fuck. Mine to destroy and to fix.”

Lukas: Or maybe we should just start dating.

as much as I want you in Sweden, I want you to come to Melbourne with me more.

“A beautiful thing. Made for me.”

With whom, I fear, I might be a little bit in love.

“I want to spend four years in med school, fully knowing that it’ll be hell. Do a fellowship and a residency. Corpse stuff, sure. I want to travel to places that don’t have a fucking pool. See my family more than once a year. Sleep in. Go on hiking trips. Stay home for long weekends and have morally bankrupt amounts of sex with someone I’m in love with. Kinky, vanilla, I want it all. I want to adopt rescue animals with her. I want to take care of her, and watch her be cold in Sweden, and marvel every day at how much smarter than me she is,

“The only time wasted is time we are apart.”