Deep End

by Ali Hazelwood

“Come on, Luk. I know you think she’s hot. You said so.”

I do. I have a thing for women who are smarter than me.

OKAYYYYYYYYY 😳😳😳

Before I can vacate his seat, one of his hands wraps around both my ankles. He lifts them, holds them up as he sits down, and then lowers my bare feet in his lap. I blink at him. Then at his hand. His grip softens against my left calf, its circumference loose. He has short, blunt nails. Long, enveloping fingers.

“Oh, sweetheart.” My belly swoops at the endearment. His tone lives somewhere between sympathy and amusement. “If you don’t think that I’m very aware of your presence, always, you have no idea what’s going on.”

“It’ll be okay, baby. No matter what happens, you will still be you. No matter what happens, you will be okay.”

“Scarlett,” he says, in that tone that’s final, that makes me feel like he’s hearing me and he’s got me and he’s there. That tone that makes me go silent. “I learned what an inward dive is after the first time you mentioned them to me. And I know one when I see it.” I blink up at him, my lashes clumped with water and chlorine and something else. “You mean…” “I mean.” He smiles, lopsided. “You did it.”

for the past six or seven years,

i’m sorry. i can’t help it.

She hands me something soft and colorful, then turns to reply to something Bella asked. It’s for the best, since I think I might be shaking, and blood pounds in my temples, and my chest is suddenly red-hot. Because in my hands there’s a tie-dye shammy.

“Confidence is not about being able to do shit, Vandy. Confidence is showing up, and trying, and not giving up because deep in your heart you know who you are and what you’re capable of.”

I keep that with me. Even after Natalie dives and I do the math on the score I need to get the bronze, even as I climb up the stairs, even when I’m drying off with my tie-dye shammy, so similar to the one I lost two years ago—the one I barely recall mentioning to Lukas. He remembered, though.

“I’d love to see Amsterdam with you.”

“All I’m saying is, I kinda thought of her as off-limits—” “She is.” It’s Lukas’s usual, laid-back tone, just a brush of tension sitting at the edges. I wonder if Kyle notices. “To you,” Lukas adds, which feels a bit like a threat.

“Oh. What about the rumored yearning glances at the pool?” “I don’t know. Were you in it?” Blood sweeps up, into my cheeks. I lower my eyes to my knees.

“If either of you fucks up the last dive,” Coach Sima threatens, “I swear I’m selling you to the woodspeople.” “No pressure, though,” Pen mutters.

LMFAO

and I could tell that all he wanted was to be around you.

“Lukas, no. You can’t waste a year just for…” “Scarlett.” His fingers come up to my chin. Grab it gently, but tight. “The only time wasted is time we are apart.”

A minute later she’s asleep. The entire universe is here, in his arms.

AHHHHHHHHH PLEASE GIVE ME A MAN LIKE LUK