Ex Marks the Spot

by Gloria Chao

But I’m the only one who sees him this way. Everybody else? They call him the Whole Package. Not sure if the double entendre is intentional…There might be a rumor floating around about it, but I wouldn’t know the answer—we dated in ninth grade when we were two shy fourteen-year-olds. I called him Alex then, before he became Xander and somehow elevated himself to a plane no one else in the school could reach. Let alone me, the one they call Encyclopedia Yellow.

Yi shan bu rong er hu.”

He probably just confessed his love cuz of course lol

“One mountain can’t tolerate two tigers,” he translates for the audience and, of course, me. “But we proved them wrong, didn’t we?”

Oh never mind lol

I love my mother—she’s my whole world—but sometimes I wish my world were just a little bit bigger.

Her words only remind me that when I have a “wavelength thing,” it’s not a mistake anyone could’ve made. For as long as I can remember, I’ve had this difficulty in social situations where I seem to be on a separate wavelength from everyone else. I somehow hear things a little differently, interpret words in another way, or need an extra second to process.

Me too!!

“Glad you’re trying to have some fun,” he says. “Finally. Though I think you need some guidance. Is that also what happened there?” He points to the fruit-punch stain peeking out above the collar of my too-large graduation gown. “Red always was your color.”

My mother, the one who has always insisted on an open-door policy, doesn’t respond. Which only intensifies how bright red this flag is. We overshare about everything. Periods, butt moles—how is this secretive woman the same person who told me she accidentally sent the cute HR guy a photo of her butt mole instead of her passport because she’d saved them both as Important Pic?

🤣

“I can’t believe you did this to me. I didn’t get to know him. My grandfather. The only other family we have. You didn’t give me a choice. And now you won’t even tell me why.” I know what’s coming before she says it. “Am I not enough for you?” What if the answer is sometimes? What if I do crave a bigger family? Am I so terrible for wanting more people to love? From the way she talks about it, yes, it makes me a villain.

The mom is being kinda toxic 😬

For the millionth time, I wish that my world were a little bigger. Because if I had a sibling or grandparent or another parent, maybe someone would understand how I feel.

“You’re going to abandon me to chase this nonexistent puzzle? You’re seeing things!”

Tooooooxiiiic

I manage to refrain from typing out something embarrassing like, I’m going on this trip for treasure hunting, arr!

lol if she did I would be her friend

His mouth slowly curves into a smile. One I last saw four years ago. It’s not confident or mischievous or playful. It’s…shy.

You don’t have to sneak out or anything, do you? Yeah I’m going to need you to wait below my window to catch me Use your knees, okay? Don’t worry, I ate a light breakfast

Don’t worry, I threw the cardboard dog out first to break my fall I told you he would serve more purposes Do you seriously still have that? Of course I do Bring it. Are you telling me to bring the dog or challenging me to a cheer contest? Um, both? Don’t be aggressive, B-E compassionate Doesn’t quite have the same ring to it. See you soon