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I was going to have a heart attack. Or my heart was going to break in two. Either way, my heart was in trouble, and there was no protecting it now.
“When we were here last time, you said that the people of Ballard had something you needed. But you never got it,” I whispered. Fisher gently kissed my forehead, and all around us, the flickering candle flames started to blink out. “Yes, I did,” he said. I barely heard his next words as I drifted away. “I came for a little hope.”
This may seem dramatic now, but it'll make sense in time, Saeris. Go through the gate. It'll take you back to Cahlish. Wait there with the others. I'll send Layne back as soon as I can. Tell Iseabail to sedate her the second she comes through the gate. She'll be close to transitioning. There won't be much time. She'll want to go back through the gate before I close it, so you'll have to be ready for that. You have to stop her. This will all be for nothing if she jumps back through. Tell Lorreth to live his life. Tell him not to worry about me. I have endless patience and no interest in having
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“All right. Fine. A husband turns to his wife one day and says, ‘y’know, I bet you can’t think of something to tell me that will make me both happy and sad at the same time.’ The wife doesn’t even need to think about it. She turns to her husband and says, ‘your cock is way bigger than your brother’s.’” The quicksilver, which hadn't made a peep over my joke, started to chuckle. “What's it doing?” Carrion asked. “It's laughing, isn't it?”
“More jokes. Give us more jokes…” I glowered at the sword, unable to comprehend its bad taste. If ever there was a weapon so perfectly suited to its owner, it was this one. Carrion delighted in telling it the filthiest jokes imaginable. And when I was finished, and Carrion pressed his fingertip against its point, giving it the tiniest taste of his blood, the blade responded immediately. “Yes, yes. Our friend. Ours. He will name us.”
Belikon had known? All these years, he’d known that Madra was the one who had closed the gates, and he’d blamed Fisher’s father. He had sent Finway to Zilvaren, to his death, and then had blamed him for the closing of the portals between the realms. He had named him traitor and cast shame on the House of Cahlish because of it. Edina had paid. Fisher had paid, over and over and over again.
“He is the storm. You are the peace that must come after it. Tell me, do you believe in the fates, Alchemist?”
In the dark, I observed the universe, and the universe observed me back. I was born and died a hundred times. And then I saw something that shouldn't have been. A bird. It flitted around me in the void, its beautiful wings flashing blue-green. It sang a song so sweet that I remembered what it was like to have a heart, if only so I could feel it ache. And oh, it ached.
“There are two kinds of forever, Alchemist. One is heaven. The other is hell. It doesn’t matter what I do. Make sure you choose your version of immortality wisely.”
Hey, you, he whispered into my mind. Hey back, I answered.