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I needed to run, to get out, but I couldn’t get my feet to move.
WHAT THE FUCK
While delicate, they were warriors in their own right. Escaping enemies left and right.
a cow let out a bellowing moo in greeting. “Morning, Bessie,” I called back. I had no clue if it was the same cow from yesterday. They all looked identical to me. But they were freaking adorable, just the same.
God, she was beautiful. Standing there in the middle of the kitchen, singing the kind of off-key that made your ears bleed. But she was so free while doing it. I should’ve stayed in the doorway longer, really taken in all that was her.
shut up this is so cute
I just grinned at her.
I felt a tug to find out what had caused it and wipe it from the Earth. But that was wasted energy. Because I’d probably fail her, too.
aw :(
just don’t want you to miss out on something amazing because you’re scared. Men like Shep are one in a million.”
Like he’d give anything to simply have you look his way.”
But I knew what it was like to paint a picture for the outside world that was so opposite of what you actually felt. I’d been so good at it that I sometimes believed the lies. Until it all came crashing down.
And the scars burned into me weren’t anything the eye could see.
Still, somehow, my broody friend was a match for my sunshiny sister. And it worked.
my loves
Everything about her was alluring grace, the kind that pulled you in and held you captive.
The word was barely above a whisper, but I was so damn attuned to Thea I heard it as though she’d yelled it.
Russ seemed to mull that over. “Never understood why my wife needs to go there when we got hot water here.”
OH I WANT HIM DEAD ALREADG
“We can’t always see a person’s capacity for evil. But that doesn’t make us culpable. It just means we see the good in those around us.”
“I know what it’s like to live with monsters. Ones you can recognize, and ones you can’t. It changes you.”
“One day, you’ll believe that. But if you need a reminder, I’m always here.”
“But we can’t let one bad experience sour the rest of our lives. We can’t let the bad win. Make us stop living. If we lock ourselves down, we don’t just keep out the bad. We keep out the good, too.”
His hands moved as he took off his ballcap and flipped it around so I could finally see those beautiful amber eyes.
“Because everything about you screams that you’ve been fighting alone for too damn long, Thorn. You need someone to help carry the weight for a little while. I might not be able to fix everything, but I can help carry the load.”
“Alone is the only place that’s safe.”
“Alone isn’t a place. It’s a state of being. And no one can stay that way forever. Every person on this planet needs others. Needs to share their burdens with someone.”
But I wouldn’t rush her. If it happened, I’d rip out every affected beam and replace it. No matter how long it took.
At some point over the hour I’d been scouring my house, Shep had lost his shirt. The white tee was draped over the side of his truck instead of on his body like it should’ve been. Holy biceps, Batman. A flush of heat swept through me at the sight of him working: muscles bunching and flexing as he drove his shovel into the dirt, then heaved it into a pile, a faint sheen of sweat making all that muscle glisten under the sinking sun.
Because something about him made me feel alive again for the first time in two years.
The smile that stretched across his face was like a straight shot of the sun. Pure light and warmth. It wrapped around me, digging in and illuminating places that had been dark for so long.
Shep’s hand covered mine. The contact was gentle, yet it rocked me. The only two people who had touched me in any way over the past two years were Sutton and Rhodes. This was entirely different.
It was that same sort of sunlight but from touch alone.
“We all do what we have to do to make it through. I’m never going to judge you for what you need to feel safe.”
As I stared into those amber eyes, I knew Shep was telling the truth. But for the first time in two years, I wished I didn’t need to have all the safety precautions and walls to keep people out. Because as risky as it was, I wanted to let Shep in.
“Who are you? The Yoda of Sparrow Falls?”
What a weird mutant beast cat.
She chuckled at that, and the sound made me feel like I’d won another damn prize.
“I like you. Even when you were prickly as all hell, I admired it. There’s something real about you. An honesty you don’t see a lot these days. And there’s kindness. You might try to hide it beneath those thorns you love so much, but I’ve seen it. And, somehow, it’s more potent since you’re not using it for show. You’d rather have no one see you extending a hand to someone else. That’s why.”
“And you’re damn nice to look at, so that doesn’t hurt either.” With those parting words, I walked away.
“Get the hell away from me. You wish you could be half the man Shep is. But you never will be. Because you’re a sleazy, rude, mean person. And my guess is, you’re worse than that.”
“It’s not stupid. Not if it’s affecting you like this.”
Slowly, my arms went around him, and I held on. I let Shep take a little of the weight I’d been carrying around for so long.
“Cut you right to the quick because that’s the kind of man he is. And it makes me want to show him true pain.”
“Letting those thorns fly?”
“He said some stuff about you. Got my hackles up.”
We all had tender spots we weren’t ready to show the world.
To my surprise, Shep burst out laughing. It was a thing of beauty. Because, this close, I not only heard every note, but I also felt them. Each vibration hit me right in the chest.
“You’re worthy, Shepard Colson. You don’t have to fix anything to be that. You don’t have to dig a million trenches or replace feet of corroded piping. You’re worthy just for who you are.”
“Dude, you’ve gone through all of The Rolling Stones’ greatest hits. And let me tell you, they’re not going to be asking you to join the band.”
I recounted something I’d read in a book about post-traumatic stress disorder. Facts over feelings. Feelings were always justified, but we had to put them into the framework of facts.
“Like you’re one to talk. My sister has your nuts in a vise grip.” Anson chuckled. “Exactly where I like them to be.” I made a face. “Sick. I do not need to know about your guys’ sex life.” “You’re the one who brought it up.” “I did not. God, I’m about to eat.”
“There isn’t a thing you could tell me that would change the way I see you. The only thing it’ll change is knowing just how strong you are to have made it through it all.”
I held on to her as she cried, each sob shredding my chest. But I took them all, knowing she had to let it free.
“What do you say, Thorn? Want to help me tear down this wall so we can build something better?”
