More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
You ordered a car, right?” I shook my head. “I switched to Fresca after my first glass.” Her mouth fell open. “You bitch. I’ve been getting sloshed, and you’re sipping freaking Fresca?” I chuckled as I pulled Nikki into a hug. “Sorry, babycakes.”
I flicked on the switch as Moose wound through my legs. As soon as I threw the deadbolt, I bent to pick him up, grunting as I lifted all eighteen pounds of his Maine Coon self. He instantly began to purr, butting his head against my chin.
I swear to god if something happens to this cat...
Then a chuckle sounded, deep and raspy, as the light on Moose’s camera and treat dispenser turned from blue to red—the color that meant it was engaged.
Jesus
God, she was beautiful. Standing there in the middle of the kitchen, singing the kind of off-key that made your ears bleed. But she was so free while doing it. I should’ve stayed in the doorway longer, really taken in all that was her.
Bro is already gone
She pulled a lavender shirt free and straightened, holding it out to me. “Here.” The tee was large enough to fit me, but the front had a bright pink cupcake with Cupcake Cutie written below it in a squiggly script. Her lips twitched as she held it out. “Problem?” I met her stare head-on. I knew a challenge when I heard it. Grabbing the neck of my T-shirt at the back, I pulled it up and over my head, then tossed it into the trash can behind the counter. “Real men wear purple.”
But I’ve seen the way he watches you.” I stiffened again, and Sutton saw it. “Not in a creepy way. Like he’d give anything to simply have you look his way.”
Only Brendan’s weapons hadn’t been fists. They’d been words and manipulations. He’d left no bruises. And the scars burned into me weren’t anything the eye could see. Which only made me feel crazy, just like he’d said I was.
I snapped a picture of the house in front of me and hit send. Me Put in an offer. What do you think? Cope That your ass is going to get haunted the moment you try to step inside. Kye Or murdered. That definitely looks like it’s home to some lumberjack ax murderer.
“I was just saying hi to Raina since I know her from the bakery.” Russ seemed to mull that over. “Never understood why my wife needs to go there when we got hot water here.” His wife. I struggled not to look at Raina, especially the bruise I knew hid beneath her concealer. Instead, I pushed my smile wider. “Guess you’ve never had one of our pastries, then.” His gaze lowered from my face to my chest. “Might just have to remedy that.” Gross.
Gross
I swallowed hard, thinking about my blindness to a different monster. “We can’t always see a person’s capacity for evil. But that doesn’t make us culpable. It just means we see the good in those around us.”
Arden turned toward me, her gray-violet eyes piercing. “I know what it’s like to live with monsters. Ones you can recognize, and ones you can’t. It changes you.”
“Finally,” Lolli huffed from her spot by the massive picture window. “I’ve been waiting for you to get here so I can unveil my latest piece.” She stood, billowy
LOLLIIIIIII
Kye started coughing, trying to cover his laugh. Fallon gaped at the artwork, cheeks flaming red. “Is that? Are they naked? On horseback?” “Pretty sure they’re having sex on horseback, Fal,” Kye said, lips twitching. I couldn’t look away from Lolli’s art. The two people on the horse appeared human but had massive wings and definitely looked…joined. “Don’t say the s-word,” Keely said matter-of-factly. “It makes Dad’s face get red.” “Jesus,” Trace muttered, scrubbing a hand over said face. “Let’s pray my kid doesn’t talk about this at horseback-riding camp.”
Dead
“So,” Lolli said, glancing around the room, “who wants it for their house?” Silence reigned around us. I swore I could hear crickets chirping. But I already had a half-naked elf man behind my office door. I couldn’t do this, too. “You prudes,” Lolli grumbled. Kye grinned. “I’ll take it for the shop. My piercer’s into all that fairy shit. She’ll love it.”
My drug of choice was reading. The books I picked up from the secondhand store for a nickel, or the ones I checked out from the library, thanks to Sutton’s library card. The subject matter varied widely: murder mysteries, tales from other planets, and my favorite, epic romances. But I had one rule. There had to be a happy ending. There was enough hardship in the real world. I needed hope in my stories.
“I know how that is, Thea. I know what it’s like to think life is one thing and for all of that to change in a split second.” My heart hammered against my ribs because there was a fire in Sutton’s gaze—flames of anger and hurt. “But we can’t let one bad experience sour the rest of our lives. We can’t let the bad win. Make us stop living. If we lock ourselves down, we don’t just keep out the bad. We keep out the good, too.”
“Why are you putting up with me?” I asked, my voice little more than a hoarse whisper. Shep’s eyes locked with mine. “Because everything about you screams that you’ve been fighting alone for too damn long, Thorn. You need someone to help carry the weight for a little while. I might not be able to fix everything, but I can help carry the load.”
“Alone is the only place that’s safe.” Her words scored me, leaving scars in their wake. “Alone isn’t a place. It’s a state of being. And no one can stay that way forever. Every person on this planet needs others. Needs to share their burdens with someone.”
“What the hell is that thing?” It was just what I needed. A laugh burst out of me. “His name is Moose.” “It should be Beast,” Shep said, still staring. Moose hissed in response, and Shep’s brows flew up. “Seriously?” I grinned at him. “Moose can be a little touchy and senses if someone’s talking about him.”
I worried the inside of my cheek before speaking. “I’m not scared of you. Not like that.” It was stupid of me to share the information. To even give him that piece. Because it would only lead to more questions. Things I couldn’t or wouldn’t answer. But I couldn’t stand the idea of Shep thinking I was frightened of him. Shep’s eyes flashed, and then one corner of his mouth kicked up. “Maybe I’m scared of the beast.” Moose let out a deep meow as if saying, “Damn straight.” “That’s fair. He is slightly terrifying,” I admitted.
That burn was back, the pressure of tears gathering behind my eyes. Of frustration and embarrassment. I didn’t want to be like this. Yet I didn’t know how to stop.
“We all do what we have to do to make it through. I’m never going to judge you for what you need to feel safe.”
“I had a run-in with Russ Wheeler.” Shep’s hand tightened in my hair, and a low, rumbling noise that sounded a lot like a growl emanated from him. “What. Did. He. Do?”
I recounted something I’d read in a book about post-traumatic stress disorder. Facts over feelings. Feelings were always justified, but we had to put them into the framework of facts.
my gaze never strayed from Thea for more than a handful of seconds. “Jesus, you’re a goner,” Anson muttered. My eyes shot to him. “Like you’re one to talk. My sister has your nuts in a vise grip.” Anson chuckled. “Exactly where I like them to be.” I made a face. “Sick. I do not need to know about your guys’ sex life.” “You’re the one who brought it up.” “I did not. God, I’m about to eat.”
“You’ll hate me.” Everything in me stilled. It was as if my heart stopped beating right before it shattered. I couldn’t keep myself from moving then. I ate up the space between us in four long strides. My hand slid along her jaw to cup her face. “There isn’t a thing you could tell me that would change the way I see you. The only thing it’ll change is knowing just how strong you are to have made it through it all.”
“Bath girl, huh?” I moved to the window. “Nothing feels better after a long day. But a tub with this view?” I let out a low whistle. “I’d never get out.” “Good to know,” Shep said, his voice going a bit husky around the edges.
I also thought you might want to help me break some shit after a day like today.” That startled a laugh out of me. “Break some shit?” Shep nodded. “What do you say, Thorn? Want to help me tear down this wall so we can build something better?” A memory flashed in my mind. One of Shep and me on my back deck, him telling me about how his dad had taught him to process his feelings. Through hands-on work. He was trying to give me the same thing. “I could smash some walls.” A grin spread across Shep’s face. “Let’s do some damage.”
“Let me take you out,” Walter pressed. Lolli just shook her head, her countless necklaces jangling. “You can’t pin a woman like me down.” “I don’t know, you might like the kind of pinning I do.” “Jesus,” a new voice muttered. One I’d memorized. Shep made a face as he looked between Lolli and Walter. “Someone find one of those Men in Black mind wipe things and erase the last sixty seconds from my memory.” “Now, Shep,” Lolli warned. “Like I told Thea, sex is perfectly natural—” “Please, make it stop,” I muttered.
Shep pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry for what’s about to happen.” I ripped the paper off, letting it fall to the floor, and took in the canvas covered in countless glittering gemstones. It was one of those diamond art painting things. The image Lolli had created was a field of different gourds. But as I stared at it longer, my jaw dropped. Sutton clamped a hand over her mouth to try to hold in her laughter. “Penis pumpkins,” she choked out. My face was on fire. The canvas was covered in dick gourds of every size, shape, and color, but all distinctly phallic. Shep pinned Lolli with a
...more
“Don’t think I don’t want you there, Thorn. I want you wherever I can get you. Why do you think I’ve been coming to the bakery every day for months? I don’t even like sweets.”
It’s like I still hear his voice in my head on repeat. And sometimes, I believe it.” I slid my hand along Thea’s jaw, tipping her head back so those green eyes connected with mine. “You hear that voice? You come to me. I’ll tell you the truth.” My thumb swept back and forth across skin as smooth as silk. “Kind. Brave. Strong. Funny. So damn smart.” “Shepard.” My name was barely audible on her lips. “Will take a fucking penis diamond painting from my grandma so you don’t hurt her feelings.”
“He shamed you about sex?” Her gaze dipped down and to the side. Bingo. What a prick. My thumb skated across the front pocket of her shorts. “You wanting me? I’m only going to feel one way about that. Lucky as hell. And grateful. Okay, so that’s two things.”
Russ made to grab for my waist but halted as I felt a wall of fury at my back. “Get. Your. Hands. Off. Her,” Shep snarled. Russ sneered at him. “She yours? You really need to take a stronger hand with her. Whoring herself out all over that dance floor.” One second, Russ was standing there. The next, Shep’s fist connected with his nose in a sickening crunch I heard even over the music.
“Get the fuck out of here, Wheeler,” Kye growled. “Shep held back. You know I won’t.” “His whore started it,” Russ whined. Thea’s face paled at his words, and the red haze came back. I charged. “Hell,” Anson cursed. “A little help?” Kye turned, his eyes flaring slightly as he pushed me back. “Don’t. He’s not worth it.” But I couldn’t stop. Thea had been hurt too much already. I wasn’t about to let it happen again. “Jesus,” Anson muttered as he tried to hold me. “Have you been taking steroids or something?”
“I’ll be on it with a junk-punch,” Rhodes muttered as she moved down the block to where we’d parked. Anson shook his head as he followed her. “Am I going to have to bail her out of jail tomorrow?” “The chances are good,” Fallon singsonged. “It’d be worth it,” Rhodes grumbled.
He bent his head and brushed his lips across the bruised skin. “I’d do anything to take this away.”
Shep stared back at me, his eyes blazing. “If you think for one second I don’t want every part of you, you’re wrong. You think I don’t want to know what it feels like to sink inside you, to bury myself so deep I forget my own name? You’re wrong.”
“That was—I never—it’s never been like that for me. Ever.” My eyes flared. “It should always be like that. Listening to your body is a goddamn gift.” She moved then, reaching for the blanket as if to cover herself. “Don’t,” I whispered. Thea’s gaze cut to me. “Don’t steal this beauty from me. Don’t be embarrassed about what we just shared. Because it was everything.”
A hoot sounded from behind me, making us startle and break apart, and I whirled to see Lolli doing some sort of jig toward us, hands raised in the air, bracelets jangling.
One corner of my mouth kicked up. “I don’t know, I kinda like your apologies.” Shep let out a growl, pitching his voice low. “If you make me hard in front of my grandmother, I’m going to make you pay later.” I pressed my lips together to keep from laughing. “Promises, promises.” Lolli let out a squeal as she clapped. “I just love this!”
“You sound like Trace. He thinks I’m going to get kidnapped by some drug cartel. I’m just selling cookbooks.” “Pot cookbooks,” Shep argued. She huffed, brushing invisible crumbs off her flowy dress. “I have to give the people what they want. I have the best brownie recipe in three counties.” Shep looked down at me. “When you come to dinner, and Lolli offers you any sort of baked good, just say no.” “You’re no fun,” Lolli complained. “You know, I’ve got this new strain that’s really supposed to ramp up arousal. I could bring you some—” “Lolli!”
I love Lolli
“You don’t have to be perfect for me, Shepard. You don’t have to have everything together. I want you just as you are, even when you want to burn down the world.” My chest rose and fell in jagged pants. A scorching fire lit in my throat. “Thea.” “Trust me to handle it. All of you. I can. Because it’s you. And there’s no one I’ve ever trusted more.”
“Don’t.” Shep’s single word cracked through the air like a clap of thunder. My gaze shot to him. I waited for rejection, but it never came. He took one step toward me and then another, his fingers covering mine. “Do you know how many times I’ve dreamt of peeling clothes off you? Don’t steal that pleasure from me.”
Then Shep’s heat was gone. He stepped back, grabbing his white tee from the back of the neck and hauling it off in one fluid movement.
Always a hot move
“Thank you.” “For what?” I whispered. His thumb ghosted over my bottom lip. “For making me feel worthy, even at my worst.”
“Your smile is freaking me out.” I glanced over at Anson as we headed into town in my truck, trying to lessen the grin that had been plastered on my face all weekend. But I had no luck. It couldn’t be helped. “Just because you look like some sort of possessed demon when you smile doesn’t mean the rest of us do.” Anson just grunted in response. “Doesn’t your face hurt? You haven’t stopped grinning all morning.”
“Jesus,” Anson clipped. “Keep your eyes on the road.” My gaze swung back to the traffic in front of us, and I pressed down on the brake to avoid rear-ending a minivan with Idaho plates. “You are gone,” he muttered. “Like you’re any better,” I shot back.
He might not have laid a hand on her, but there are still scars.” Anson was quiet as I pulled into the hardware store’s parking lot and found an empty spot. “Sometimes, the mental scars are worse.”
“Well, look what the cat dragged in. If it isn’t Box Baby and Murder Boy.” I looked up to see Russ striding toward us, his dad, Bob, at his side.
Such a dick
