Broken Harbor (Sparrow Falls #3)

by Catherine Cowles

For all those who feel like they aren’t deserving of love. Spoiler alert, you are. Let that shit in.

My hands slipped from the jack crank. “Mother frickin’ son of a biscuit-eating grandma.”

“Was just heading over to see if you needed some help,” he said. “Looked like you were doing battle with that tire.” “I’m good.” My voice was tight, my back molars clamping shut. The man arched a brow. “You sure about that? I’d hate for any harm to come to a biscuit-eating grandma.” I scowled at him. Seriously? Was he making fun of me when I was obviously on my last thread of sanity? “I’m fixing it. And I don’t need some overgrown sportsball person getting in my way.” The man’s lips twitched. “Sportsball?” I gestured at him. “You’re obviously some sort of athlete. The gear. The muscles⁠—” “The muscles, huh?” he asked, amusement lacing his tone. My scowl turned to a glare. “Not interested.” The man just chuckled again. “Understood. Good luck to you and Grandma. Don’t steal any of her biscuits.”

“Oh, Warrior?” I glanced up, still glaring, only harder now that the man had given me a nickname.

Nicknames, let's go

Plus, if my mom or Grandma Lolli ever heard about me mistreating a woman, they would kick my ass.

She crossed the rink in six long strides. “I heard we had a legend in the house.” Her gaze slid over me in a look that had me fighting not to take a step back. Jesus. The girl looked barely over eighteen. And that was not my thing. Not since I’d been eighteen. And that was twelve years ago.

I shoved off the edge of my skate, darting around the girl and toward the boards, but the moment I saw the two figures waiting there, I almost went back to the piranha in spandex.

“Is that a nice way of saying I look like shit?” I expected Cope to panic, get flustered, apologize. Any of those responses. But he just stared at me, one eyebrow slightly cocked. “Do I look like an idiot?” “Not sure you want me to answer that, Hotshot.” “Definitely a warrior. She’s not afraid to level the death blow,” Cope muttered, amusement lacing his tone. “I may miss a lot of things, but one of those will never be how fucking gorgeous you are. Doesn’t matter if you’re covered in grease or flour or have dark circles you’re drowning in. None of it will take away an ounce of your beauty.”

“Thea brought some cupcakes from there to a family dinner the other week. They were incredible. Cute as shit, too. With little bumblebees on them,” Cope said, grinning wider. Evelyn gasped. “Coach Colson. Watch your language, please.” Cope’s brows lifted. “What’d I say?” “The s-word,” she hissed. Luca giggled. “If I say a bad word, I gotta do extra chores.” Cope’s lips twitched as he turned back to me. “Want me to come over and mop the bakery floors? I can give Speedy here a ride home.”

“What’s wrong?” I opened my mouth to lie but simply couldn’t do it. I was too tired. My shoulders slumped, and it was a miracle I didn’t just slide to the ground. “Not my best day.” Cope moved into my space, hesitating for a moment, his jaw working. “I’m going to hug you.” My eyes widened in surprise, both at the gesture and him demandingly asking for permission. “O-okay.”

Then at least let me be Speedy’s ride. There’s no need for you to waste time shuttling him back and forth from the bakery when I drive right by there.” “You don’t need to do that.” “I want to,” he argued. “You’d need a booster seat and⁠—” “I got one.” I blinked up at Cope, my jaw going slack. “You got a booster seat?” I said the words slowly as if trying to master a foreign language. He nodded. “The Clek Oobr one. Those mommy blogs said it was the best. And I had one of the experts come and install it. Blogs said it was important to get it in right.”

Dude is already gone

“Get your shit. Now. Luca’s, too,” Cope growled. My jaw went slack. “Excuse me?” Cope’s eyes narrowed. “You’re not staying in a place with no warm water. Not for one minute more. So, get your stuff. You’re moving in with me.”

That meant a gym and a screening room. Massive living, dining, and cooking spaces. A library and an office. Ten bedrooms, thirteen baths, a pool, and a hot tub.

Holy shit

“The color reminds me of your eyes. It felt like it was meant to be.” My gaze jerked to him. “My eyes?” “Turquoise. Like the Caribbean Sea. Could find a world of peace in those eyes.”

I’m hopeless when it comes to cooking.” Cope stared at me for a long moment. “Sutton, your baked goods are some of the best things I’ve ever tasted.” “I’m good at baking,” I corrected him. “That is like night and day from cooking. Figuring out the right measurements and flavors in baking just makes sense to me. Cooking? I’m all thumbs.” Cope shifted closer—so close we were almost touching. Close enough that I could just catch flickers of mint and sage. “Sounds like we make a pretty good team,” he rasped. “Dinner and dessert. Salty and sweet.” Oh, hell.

I quickly scrolled through my favorites album on my phone until I found the picture I wanted of Kye. He was sitting at a tiny table in Keely’s room, having a tea party. His massive size, complete with tattoos covering his arms and snaking up his neck, would’ve been enough for a chuckle, but the fact that he was wearing a pink tutu, a tiara, and a feather boa really took it over the top. Rhodes I forgot about this photo. We need to get it framed. Kye You told me you deleted this, you asshole. Me I lied.

Evelyn let out a huff of air. “I just hardly think it’s appropriate to give a child sugar every single day.” Luca glared at her. “You’re just mad because Daniel hates your cupcakes. He says you make ‘em with carrots instead of real sugar. He always asks me to sneak him one of my mom’s.”

Kids are savage

“That prick stick Rick was in here glaring at her, that’s what,” Lolli said with a huff. “I told him to watch it, and he threatened Sutton.” Cope’s fingers flexed on my neck. “He. Did. What?”

“Teddy was in an accident on his way back to Seattle.” It was as if Cope had been struck by lightning; his entire form snapped straight. “Where is he? What hospital?” Pain streaked across Trace’s features. “I’m sorry, Cope. He didn’t make it. He’s gone.”

Noooo

“It’s a messy business being human. We hurt, and we get hurt.”

He’d told me I may have PTSD from the incident and said I’d need to be kind to my brain as it tried to protect me.

“Sometimes, those monsters seem worse simply because we haven’t turned on the lights.”

No words could soothe the ravaged wounds of grief. All you could do was be present in the pain with the person experiencing it. That was a precious gift because people often couldn’t withstand the discomfort of someone else’s sorrow.

Fuck. She would destroy me.

“You wanted to keep dancing with him?” I hated the jealousy that flared hot and bright, making my pulse thrum in my neck. “It was nice,” Sutton bit out. “Nice?” I growled, pulling her into my arms as the band shifted into another song. It wasn’t fast or slow, somewhere in the middle. “Yes,” she clipped. “And this was supposed to be a girls’ night. No boys allowed.” “Good thing I’m not a boy, then.” I moved her closer to me, my thigh shifting to between her legs. Sutton’s eyes sparked with blue heat, the kind that scalded. But I’d wear her burn scars with pride.

“I don’t deserve you,” I rasped. Her eyes widened, shock filling them. “You should have everything. Someone who isn’t broken or fucked up, whose head isn’t a nightmare on a good day. You need someone good. Someone who will do everything to take care of you and Luca. Someone so much better than me.” Sutton ripped herself out of my arms and gave my chest a shove. “Don’t you think I should have a say in what and who I deserve? What I need?” “Sutton—” “No,” she snapped, cutting me off. “I’ve worked so damn hard to stand on my own two feet. I’m in charge of my life, Cope. And if you would’ve stopped long enough to ask me what I wanted, you might’ve found out it was you.” Before I could say a word, she stalked off.

“What?” she demanded. “What is so important that you had to interrupt a perfectly nice evening just to tell me how much you don’t want me? You don’t think we should be together? Fine. Now, can we be done with whatever this is?” I prowled toward her, eating up the distance in long strides. “I never once said I didn’t want you. Fuck, Warrior. I think about you with every other breath. I dream about you. And when I wake up, I swear I can still taste you on my tongue.”

“Don’t come,” he ordered, speaking against that bundle of nerves. The vibrations only sent my body higher. “I don’t really control that,” I said between breaths that came out in short pants. “My girl can hold it back. Fight it off. For me.” Cope’s fingers swirled again, and I let out a whimper. “So beautiful. My warrior.”

Bruh

“You’re beautiful.” His mouth quirked. “I’ve got nothing on you.”

I expected my fellow coach to bluster or make some alpha statement. Instead, he sighed and shook his head. “Damn you. I knew I should’ve asked her out when I had the chance.” A chuckle escaped me. “I gotta say, I’m not sorry you didn’t.” “At least I know you’re a halfway decent guy,” Kenner muttered. “Careful, those sweet nothings could go to my head.” Kenner laughed. “I think your ego is big enough.”

Kudos to not using toxic masculinity

Anson held out a hand to Shep. “I’ll take that twenty now.” I looked between the two of them. “Did you bet on me?” Shep gripped the back of his neck. “Just a friendly wager on whether you were sunk or not.” I glared at my brother. “You know, I covered for you when you came home wasted from that field party your junior year. How do you think Mom would feel if she knew the reason her fiddle leaf fig bit the dust was because you used the pot as a urinal?” Shep’s eyes narrowed on me. “You wouldn’t.” I arched a brow. “Wouldn’t I?” Anson chuckled. “Sometimes, I love your family.”

He moved into my space, his hand dipping under my hair. “I really want to kiss that worried look off your face right now.” “Cope…” His eyes searched mine as his fingers squeezed the back of my neck. “I know you’re probably not ready for that. Not in front of Luca. But know I want it.” A burn lit behind my eyes, and I suddenly recognized the true fear behind my anxiety. I’d been afraid Cope wouldn’t want more than one night. That he’d stolen my heart but hadn’t given me his in return. “Okay,” I whispered.

“You wanna do this, then we do it. No half measures. And no throwing up walls after you break down mine.” The accusation had my blood heating. “Says the man who’s been avoiding me for the past two weeks.” Cope’s rough palm pressed into my belly, pushing me back one step, then two, three, until my back hit a solid surface, but not one that caused any pain. The movement and how it felt told me it was a punching bag. “Because you scare the hell out of me, Warrior. Because you make me feel more than I ever thought I could.”

“Do you want me to touch you, Warrior?” “Yes,” I breathed. He didn’t hesitate. He lifted my hands above my head in a flash. “Grip the chains.”

HEYO

“All I’m asking is that we try. No half measures. All in. It may not work, but if we’re going to play with fire, let’s not settle for matches. We deserve fireworks and infernos.”

“Mom, are you sure it’s okay for you to help?” Luca asked from his spot on the banquette along the kitchen wall. Sutton sent him a slightly exasperated look. “I’m not going to ruin breakfast.” Luca didn’t look convinced. “Your baked stuff is amazing, but your scramble game isn’t the best.”

Savage

“You got laid,” she whisper-hissed. “Shhh!” I said, grabbing her arm. “I really don’t need Walter or our patrons knowing the details of my sex life.” Thea grinned in a way that made her look slightly deranged. “Sex life means more than once.” My cheeks heated. “At the country bar?” she pressed. “Maybe,” I whispered. “I knew it! I told Shep you two looked way too rumpled to have only been talking back there.”

I made a show of snapping my long rubber glove and adjusting the doctor’s mask and ski goggles on my face. “There’s only one person who hasn’t fallen, and I’m doing whatever it takes to stay barf-free.”

“I’ll always take care of you. Always.” Sutton just cried harder. “Don’t promise me that.” “Why not?” I asked, my voice dropping low. “Because if I lose that promise, I’ll break.” “Fuck,” I muttered. I cradled her against my chest. “I’m afraid it’s too late.” “Too late?” she croaked. My fingers sifted through Sutton’s hair, tangling in the strands. “I’m already in love with you.”

Trace had brought Keely with him, and she was currently having a diving-for-rings contest with Luca in the pool. Kye was apparently in charge of tossing the rings, which he did from his lounge chair, dressed entirely in black with motorcycle boots and shades in place.

Love this image

I was so naïve. Stupid.” “Hey,” I cut her off gently. “Don’t talk about my girl like that.” Sutton’s turquoise gaze swung to me. “I should’ve seen it.” “Sometimes, the people closest to us know the best ways to hide things,” Trace said quietly.

Walter’s jaw hardened, and anger flickered in his eyes. “He’s not going to hurt you here. I’ve got a frying pan and know how to use it.”

“Holy testosterone,” Lolli called as she bustled in behind Holt, a package tucked under her arm and copious necklaces jangling. “I don’t think my hormones can handle all this hotness.” “I’ll give your hormones something to handle,” Walter shot back, a slight growl to his words. Lolli waved him off. “Oh, hush, you old codger. You’re interrupting my view.” She took a step back and did a head-to-toe sweep of Holt. “You certainly know how to hire help, Sutton.” Holt’s cheeks flushed as he leaned down to whisper in my ear. “Are those pot leaves on her cowboy boots?” Lolli groaned. “Don’t tell me you’re one of those law-and-order types like my grandson. No fun at all.” She drummed her fingers against the parcel under her arm, eyes twinkling. “Though it might be fun to get you to break the rules.” “Should I be scared?” Holt asked. “Very,” I muttered.

“Is that a…donut dick?” Holt muttered. Lolli beamed at him. “I knew I liked you. Art is all about the hidden message.” “And that message is bakery penises?” I squeaked. “Don’t be a prude, Sutton,” Lolli admonished. “Sex and the human body are things to be celebrated.”

“Warrior,” I croaked. “I—” The door opened, cutting off Sutton’s words. “Are things getting frisky back here?” Lolli asked. “I was just bringing Sutton some tea, but it looks like that might not be necessary.” Sutton flushed. “All clothes are firmly in place, Lolli.” “Could still be getting up to some dry humping. I’m kinda partial to that myself.” “Lolli!” I clipped. She just glared at me. “I thought I could count on you not to be a stick in the mud.” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Someone save me from this nightmare.”

“Because he doesn’t love us enough,” Luca whispered, tears beginning to fall. “It’s why he never calls or sends me a birthday card.” “Oh, baby.” I pulled him against me, wrapping my arms around him. “He will always love you, even when he can’t show it.” “Not enough!” Luca wailed. “I don’t want him to be my dad! I want Cope to be my dad!” I stilled, pain and panic searing through me. My gaze collided with Cope’s, and I saw agony and longing in his eyes. Cope leaned in, rubbing Luca’s back. “It would be the biggest honor of my life if I got to be a dad to someone who’s as amazing as you are,” Cope croaked.

Luca threw himself at Cope, and Cope caught him easily. Luca cried in earnest now. They were tears of relief and of letting go. “I love you,” Luca hiccupped. “I love you, too,” Cope whispered. “More than you’ll ever know.”

“I love you. With everything in me. All I am is yours. Brokenness and all.”

“Oooooh, I see hottie hockey players,” Lolli called, doing a shimmy. She’d blinged out her jersey so it sparkled in the rink lights. “Do you think I could get one of them to throw me against the boards?” “Lolli,” my mom hissed. “Children will be present at this event. Please, rein it in.” Lolli just waved her off. “It’s good for them to see healthy sexuality.” Fallon pinned her with a stare. “I’m not sure asking one of these poor, unprepared players to throw you against the boards is healthy sexuality.” Lolli let out a huff. “Always ruining all my fun.”

Her fingers trembled as she lifted the gold piece from the box and opened the locket. “How? It’s my grandmother’s. Even the picture is the same.”

Called it