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January 5 - January 12, 2025
I read a silly book about a door, and it made me laugh during a time when I was finding it difficult to.
NOT UNHINGED
I’ve conquered my fear of toilets.
Perfectly weighted with solid tines that feel good in my mouth.
AYE YO
I love the way it feels on my lips and how it slides over my tongue.
Girl get help
“You lick what’s left of your balls on my pillow when you think I’m not looking so let’s be kinder when it comes to judging each other, okay?”
They’re green but with brown and white specks around each iris.
R u gay
“I must be asleep on the couch and this is all a dream. Thankfully I live alone so there’s no one to judge me if I wake up humping one of the cushions.”
“Yesterday, did you lick the entire length of the fork?” “No,” I deny automatically even though a memory of doing exactly that comes back to me.
“Are you unwell?” I laugh then stop abruptly. “Probably.”
I don’t like to watch anything sad because reality is often sad enough.”
“You’re pretty handsy for a man who can’t put out.”
“I don’t have any money.” I roll my eyes. “That makes you no different than the last two men who asked me out.”
There’s just something about a fork questioning my dating practices that tickles my sense of humor. Gasping for air and waving at him, I say, “If he’s not up to your standards . . . what would you do? Fork him up?”
“Thankfully, my social life is none of your forking business.” He steps closer. “Done yet?”
“Not even forking close.” He nods and purses his lips. “You’re getting good at this.”
“God, I want to—” “Fork me?” I giggle nervously.
“Modern men keep their hands to themselves,”
No they dont
balls deep in me,
Oh, my God, he really is a fork. My fork. I fucked my fork. I was forked.
but I am really good at locating Montana ever since someone told me it looks like it’s sniffing Idaho. Check it out. You’ll never confuse that state again.
It literally does
