Nicu scared the hell out of me by suggesting their replacements could be asylum seekers. I mean, I’m not entirely unsympathetic to their cause – war, poverty, displacement, yada yada yada – and I know they must live somewhere. But why here, of all places? I emailed the chairman of the parish council with my concerns and he all but suggested I was being racist, which is ridiculous. I’d swap a kidney for a date with Idris Elba.
