“It changed me,” Alice says. “For a long time I resisted that. I wanted to pretend like none of it happened. I went to the hospital thinking I would come home with a child, and instead I lost my dreams. I wanted to forget. I wanted to go back to being myself.” She lifts her shoulders, as if she’s shrugging off a weight. “I couldn’t. It wasn’t until I realized that I could keep her with me, and I could let it hurt, and I could let it heal, that I actually began to find myself again. I’ve had a beautiful life. That loss . . . It wasn’t beautiful. I wouldn’t wish it on anybody. I don’t think loss
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