Out of the Woods

by Hannah Bonam-Young

I am a simple creature, at my core. Give me books, sunlight, water, and a handsome man looking at me like I’m some rare jewel, and I’m all set.

“That is also a great point,” I whisper, my voice unsteady. “Maybe, if you’re not too tired after today’s hike…” “Too tired?” Caleb leans back, satisfyingly smug. “I would climb mountains for the chance to watch you come undone, baby.”

That growing awareness picks and chips away at childhood until you’re suddenly twelve and crying in the bathroom because you got your first period and came to realize that everyone was right. You shouldn’t have wanted to grow up. Womanhood is just a trap of a different making.

“Often, we can find ourselves playing what-if instead of recognizing what we can do now to build the life we want. The truth is the past is one of the only things as stubborn as us humans. Unfortunately, it won’t change no matter how much you ask it to.”

“When our perceptions begin to shift it is usually because we’re ready for something new.”

“If you give me the space to grow, I’ll plant myself next to you. Always.”

After a long, quiet moment he sighs, really, really looking at me. “Your heart,” he says solemnly. “Yes…” We’ve been over this, I think. It’s his…Does he not believe me? “I told you—” “Something that’s all yours,” he interrupts. “Something you should be proud of,” he says, pressing his forehead to mine. “That is what I should have said on the night of the fundraiser when you asked.”

Your heart is mine to care for, to treasure. But it will never be just mine.”