Out of the Woods

by Hannah Bonam-Young

“I don’t think I felt you slipping away until it was too late, so I gripped on too tightly, afraid to let you go. Then, after the fundraiser, it felt like you were halfway out the door and I didn’t want to spook you so I kept my distance, trying to figure out how we could best move forward. I spend my days solving problems and compiling data and you feel like the one piece of my life I cannot solve. And, maybe, I should stop trying to. You’re my wife, after all, not a mathematical equation or an algorithm. But just like you turn to prayer when you’re most afraid—I turn to logic. To facts. To what I know to be true. Clearly, that’s not doing me any favors. So, here’s what I know to be true that logic cannot confirm…” He flips the page, then taps at the top left corner of the journal with his forefinger. “I can feel you when I’m alone. I can sense your presence like a second nature and can anticipate your random visits to the office based on some sort of intuition or connection between us. And, when you’re not near, you occupy every corner of my life. Half of my thoughts are about you. All of my dreams involve you. My hopes and fears and purpose revolve around you. I just want you to be at peace. That is all I have ever wanted from the first moment I saw you cry and had the privilege of being the arms you ran to. And, if your future peace means leaving, so be it. But don’t think for a single second you could ever truly leave me. You can go as far as you need to, but you’ll a...