Releasing 10 (Boys of Tommen, #6)

by Chloe Walsh

I didn’t feel awkward or embarrassed when she paid me a compliment. Instead, I felt pleased. Because I quickly realized that I wanted her to admire me. Like I was definitely admiring her.

אין אין אני שרופה עליהם

I had never felt more impressed by another person in my life. It wasn’t just her outfit that matched mine, but her brain did, too.

While my brain seemed confused by the tingling, my heart assured me that it was an important feeling. That she was important.

I frowned. “So…you have flutter-cups?” “Oh my God, yes!” She nodded eagerly. “I have flutter-cups!” “Fuck.” I couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped me. “You’re so strange.” “Say it again.” “Fuck?” She grinned. “Fuck.” “How are your flutter-cups?” “Still there, but it’s okay,” she laughed. “They don’t hurt.” “That’s good to know,” I replied. Because I think I caught them, too.

I wasn’t sure what to do. I didn’t know how to talk to everyone. I missed Shannon. I wished she had come to the party. She didn’t like to talk a lot, and I liked that about her. Sometimes it was nice to not talk and still be friends.

“How did you do that?” “Do what?” “Make it stop.” “The panic attack?” I nodded, not sure if that’s what it was but needing to know either way. “How did you make it stop?” “I didn’t do anything, Lizzie,” he replied, still smiling, still holding my hands. “You did that yourself.”

Nobody had ever said that about me before. But Claire did. She said she wanted me. My heart thumped with excitement.

“Maybe we’ll just have pets,” Gibsie offered, looking queasy. “Because I don’t think I want to shoot you with the bull gun, Claire-Bear.” “Agreed,” she croaked out, hooking her pinky finger around his. “Let’s just have cat babies instead.”

“I had the best time ever,” I told her, feeling excited all over again. “And I made new friends. I have five now, Caoimhe. Five friends! Claire, Shannon, Patrick, Gibsie, and Hugh!”

I sighed happily. “I think I love him.” “Which one?” “Hugh,” I sighed, clutching my chest. “He’s so nice, Caoimhe. Like so, so nice, and he’s pretty, and he holds the door for me, and he gave me an extra pillow from his room, and he cut my pancake when I couldn’t do it.” I heaved out another sigh, missing him already. “He’s just so sweet.”

He was always checking on me. It used to be okay, but I wasn’t so sure anymore. I didn’t think I wanted him to keep checking on me. I didn’t want him to fix me again. Not ever again.

I shook my head, feeling sad. “But it hurts.” “Only for a little while,” he coaxed, wrapping his big hand around my throat. “You can handle it.” He pushed me onto my back and dragged my nightie up to my waist. “Like the other times.” Shivering, I clenched my eyes shut and thought happy thoughts. I thought of Hugh.

I seemed to lose all common sense when Lizzie Young was nearby.

“I love you.” My heart thumped like a drum in my chest because this was the first time he said those words out loud. “You do?” Nodding slowly, he stroked my cheek with his thumb and exhaled a shaky breath. “I just thought you should know.” A shiver racked through him. “In case anything happens and I don’t get to tell you.”

“You and me. Same as yesterday and same as today. Being best friends forever.” Smiling, I leaned in close and brushed his nose with mine. “No matter what.” “Yeah, Liz.” His lips grew into a small smile. “No matter what.”

“Well, I think you’re brilliant,” I offered. “I think you should keep playing.”

I knew what they meant. He was using his special powers. That scared me because it meant my sister was sick like me.

If boys only did that to girls they loved, did that mean Mark loved me? Because I didn’t want Mark to love me. I wanted Hugh to love me.

“Because there’s too many broken hearts around here.” My eyes widened. “In Ballylaggin?” He peered over his book at me and smirked. “In the world, Liz.” “Oh.” I nodded in understanding. “What about my heart?” He laughed softly. “Your heart works just fine.” “But what if it breaks?” “That won’t happen.” “How come?” He turned another page before saying, “Because I won’t break it.” “But what if someone else breaks it?” “Not going to happen.” “How come?” “Because I’ve got it locked away safe and sound.”

That made me cry harder. Because I didn’t want to be here anymore. Because I did a bad thing to Hugh. I couldn’t explain the horror I felt. I was bad. Bad. Bad. Bad.

Why didn’t she listen? Why didn’t anyone listen to me?

“Nobody told me!” I screamed, pulling on my hair so hard a clump of it came away in my hand. So I threw that at her, too. “And it hurts, and it’s not making me better, and it’s all your fault!”

When Catherine called this morning to let Mam know that Liz was feeling better and would be coming to my party, it was the best birthday present ever.

All I wanted was Liz.

“Liz!” Hurrying down the porch steps, I quickly closed the space between us, not stopping until I had her wrapped up in my arms. “I’ve missed you so much.” Two months. It had taken two long months to see my friend again, and now that I had my arms around her, I was afraid to let go.

“Hugh!” Liz didn’t hesitate to wrap her arms around my waist, trembling all over, as she buried her face in my neck. “I promise I’ve missed you more.” “I wanted to come see you, I promise,” I told her, tightening my arms. “I would have come if they’d let me.” “I know.” She gripped my shirt tightly. “I believe you.”

Something about the way they both flicked their eyes to Lizzie as they spoke caused me to pull her to my side and wrap an arm around her protectively. He was not taking her away again. Over my dead body.

“I don’t give a shit about my party,” I told her, and it was the truth. The only thing I cared about in this moment was her.

“Do you hate me now?” “I could never hate you,” I replied, feeling my heart crack. “I love you, remember?”

“Am I still your lady?” “You’ll always be my lady,” I promised. “Milady.”

“You’ll always have me, Hugh.”

There would be a million more parties, but there would only ever be one Lizzie Young.

“Can I do anything to help you?” “Stay,” she replied with a whimper. “Don’t leave me.” “I won’t leave you, Liz,” I promised, resisting the urge to pull her into my arms. “I’m staying with you.” “No matter what?” “Yeah, Liz.” Stroking her cheek, I leaned down and kissed the top of her head. “No matter what.”

“You could never be described by a word, Liz, and especially not a boring one like normal. You know what else? I wouldn’t change a single thing about you. I love that you don’t tick that boring box.” Sniffling, she reached for my hand. “You wouldn’t change me if you could?” “Nope.” “How come?” “Because then you wouldn’t be you,” I explained, wiping away another one of her tears. “And a world without Lizzie Young would be a travesty.” “Travesty,” she repeated slowly, mulling over the word. “Listen, I know you’re feeling tired, and it’s totally grand if you don’t want to, but would you like to take a walk outside with me?” She stared at me for a long time before nodding her head. “Yeah, Hugh, I’d like that.”

“Silver Springs” – Fleetwood Mac