Thots and Prayers (Final Girls)

by Tylor Paige

We were surrounded by fields of tall, yellow stalks. Constantine slowed to match the speed limit. The signs said thirty-five for vehicles and fifteen for horses. Where were we?

We’d left Shelley Vale over a week ago because we’d accidentally murdered half the town.

Well, I’d like to think accidentally, but I don’t think Kansas or Constantine were as sad about the massacre as I was.

Although a couple in a car drove by and yelled for me to repent.” He snickered. “That all sinners must repent if they want to be saved.”

“I flipped them off, which made them stop for a split second so the woman could tell me she’d pray for me.”

RULE 2 - CONSTANTINE DON’T ARGUE WITH PEOPLE IN SMALL TOWNS IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE.

“You think if you tried to leave, I wouldn’t find you? Ten years I was gone, but I knew your whereabouts the entire time. You aren’t going anywhere, but nice try.”

They’d be fine. What trouble could they get into at a church?

He was the hottest priest I’d ever seen.

“This isn’t… triggering?” “Why?” He cocked his head playfully, but I caught his jaw tick. “Because of my dad? Nah, I actually think watching him preach for most of my childhood will prove helpful come Sunday. All I gotta do is wave my arms and tell people why what they are doing is sinful. Easy.”

“Take your penance,” he ordered in a low growl. I opened and closed my mouth, and slowly, lowered myself to my knees.

The man on the other side’s god may have forgiven him for his sins, but there’s no way he’d forgive us for ours.

More like wife, partner, love of my life, part of my soul, the breath I breathed. My everything. My... companion.

“I can fuck you with a knife, kill all your friends, and bathe you in their blood and tissue, but it’s me pretending to be a man of the faith that’s too far?”

Giving me nightmares while making me come was my favorite thing about you. Let’s do it.

“You’ve gone too far, Constantine. What do you think those townspeople are going to do when they find out all their kids lost their virginities in a group party while high on fucking Molly?”

If she was pissed off now, she was going to be raging mad when she found out that the car was fixed two days ago.

I don’t need their thoughts and prayers. I don’t need saving. I just want to be treated kindly.”