Flirting With Disaster: A Novel

by Naina Kumar

But I’d learned that day that there was a whole world inside his mind I couldn’t access. The way I shared things with him, the way I leaned on him, was something he wouldn’t reciprocate. No matter how much I pushed or prodded for more, there were walls I couldn’t climb over, until finally, I just stopped trying.

How can you trust someone who pulls away when you need them most?

“How do you think it felt to be the only one falling apart? The one who was always struggling. Always taking. Always needing something.” A rush of breath leaves my lungs, and my next words are quieter. Small and resigned. “I couldn’t do it anymore. I needed you to need me too.”

I knew he loved me now, but I wasn’t sure if that love could withstand another failure.

I was taking, and he was giving, and I didn’t want it to all build up. For him to resent me, or leave me, so, after some time, I stopped sharing.

Even before you left, I was so scared of losing you, of not being enough,

“I figured nothing’s ever too far gone,” he says softly. “That some things are worth rebuilding. Even if it means rebuilding them from the ground up.”

“You’re my home, Meena. Out of all the places I’ve lived, I’ve only ever felt at home with you.”

We’re different. We’ve grown and we’ll keep growing. We’ll keep doing better. We’ll grow together.”