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“Time is precious. Make sure you spend it with the right people.”
Asshole, occasionally. Sarcastic, always. Carefree . . . not really.
“Booze and babies don’t mix.” “Not unless you’re making them,”
I’m surrounded by hornballs. All of them.
“You know steroids cause erectile disfunction, right, Nix?”
A woman doesn’t tense up unless you’ve done something incredibly right or significantly wrong.
We like to say we’re tougher. Anyone can throw a ball. But can they do it on a blade less than three inches thick, skating backward?
“No chocolate for you, if you’re getting laid and keeping it secret.”
I don’t remember the last time I got laid by something that doesn’t require batteries.”
“First, you need to get a vibrator with a charging cord. Take it from someone who knows. Total game changer.”
My mother didn’t need a man, and neither do I. It might be time to do some one-click shopping for a stronger vibrator though.
Well, not to his face. The fucker’s ego is big enough already without the boost.
“The circle? What fucking circle? Like the circle of trust?”
When I get nervous, I turn into a human encyclopedia.
Lack of time . . . Lack of trust . . . Lack of decent men . . .
If Stranger Things and General Tso’s sounds sexy to you, then I guess I am. But really think more Netflix and veg, less Netflix and chill.
“Listen. I never understood why we needed chopsticks if we had perfectly good forks in the drawer.”
Plus, I built a life in DC.” I think about that for a minute and silently cringe. “Maybe not an exciting one. But it was mine.
I’m smart enough not to date Easton Hayes’s little sister.
Maddox That’s a date, young grasshopper. Nixon We’re the same fucking age, shitstain.
My dog isn’t what’s considered a sporty dog. His happy activity level is moving between nap spots.
I kinda skipped the whole how to be social in your twenties
Now my version of a fun night is getting a burger from West End and binging season two of Stranger Things.”
Encyclopedia . . . ? Who the fuck even uses an encyclopedia anymore?
“Baby, if you want to play with safe words, we can leave now.”
“I wouldn’t call taking a beautiful woman on a date a favor, Hayes.”
“Do you want a beautiful woman warming your bed, Mackenzie? Because I’ve got to tell you, I’d give my left testicle to see that.”
“The left one?” I tease slowly. That cocky grin reappears. “Hangs lower than the right.”
Vagina is my day job. Not my night one.”
“Touch her and die, Sinclair.” “I’m shaking, Hayes. Seriously. Terrified.”
“I don’t have time for a relationship, Nixon.” “Good, because I’m not asking for a relationship.”
“I’m not giving you what you need until you give me what I want, beautiful.”
and he definitely could have used GPS to help him find my clit.
Guess you’re knee deep in someone’s amniotic fluid right about now and that’s why you’re not answering.
I’m there for the hot docs, not the dead bodies.
“Does he have an on-off switch or something?” “Has he ever?”
“Has Callen seen you naked? Because if you tell me he was the douchebag you slept with in college, I might just kill him, and that could make Thanksgiving a little awkward.”
“I was always good at solo projects, Professor Sinclair. It’s the team assignments that are a little harder for me.”
Fourteen muscles are used when you pour a cup of coffee. Who needs to go to the gym when you’ve got a coffee addiction the size of mine?
“You’re bribing my dog.” “We used to bribe you kids too.” Dad shrugs. “Works better on Gordie.”
I’ve lost a few pounds I probably couldn’t afford to lose. My boobs are pretty great though.
I send that one off and grab a bottle of Riesling from my fridge and a wine glass from the cabinet. I’m alone with no one to judge, so I fill that bitch all the way up, grab mint chocolate chip ice cream from the fridge, and ask Alexa to play my favorite Eddie Vedder song. Ironically, the song is about seizing the day.
She’s unbelievably beautiful but has no clue. Sexy as hell, but she’d never believe it. Brilliant but clumsy.
Nobody should look that fucking hot in fuzzy fucking socks, but holy fuck, she does.
I hit a puck into a net for a living, and this woman saves lives.
“You take your shirt off, Nix.” “You gonna accuse me of using steroids again?”
“Say something, Nix . . .” I want to say mine, but I can’t.
Crying is not a sign of weakness. Since the minute you were born it’s been a sign of life.
“That’s it, baby. Wrap your lips around me and take the first inch. Get used to it, because I want to fuck your face almost as much as I want to fuck that perfect cunt.”
Don’t worry about being sloppy. The messier, the better.
