Name Not Taken

by Madeleine Henry

We go to a costumes-encouraged thirtieth birthday party as ceiling fans, each in a sweatshirt that reads Go Ceilings and carrying megaphones.

I have been in the way this family always excludes me, as if by a magical sleight of hand.

I want to be here for him, the way a wife is for her husband. We haven’t said our vows yet, but the commitment remains, doesn’t it?

In every message, I sensed that I was begging, and when you have to beg someone to stay, they’ve already left.

Some tragedies are so loud they mute everything around them. Joy feels like a betrayal to whoever’s in pain.

Men are simpler than you imagine, my sweet child. But what goes on in the twisted, tortuous minds of women would baffle anyone . . .

“Everything is a battle of perspective. There’s always a winner, and when you lose—when you decisively lose—then your view becomes the crazy one. So when people call you ‘insane,’ they’re letting you know who won.”

“Moms really do shape how their sons view people. Most, I assume, use the power unconsciously. But my mom knew she had them, and she turned them against me.”

You can’t be tormented by someone unless you’re a little desperate for them to love you.”