And—this is an important factor that a lot of writers and performers don’t admit to enough—I liked the attention. I would likely not make a good actor because I want credit for being interesting enough as myself. I’d never be a good editor because I like how warm a spotlight feels. Praise for my abilities is all very fine and good, but I want people to tell me it’s nice to spend a few hundred pages with me. I allowed myself to be my work when I should have protected myself better. It’s like I intentionally built my house on a tilt, and now I’m complaining that all my drinks keep sliding off my
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