But more irksome was the steady creep of loneliness, the way my body would sway if I smelled someone delicious on a subway car, bringing up the memory I was trying to suppress: that once, I woke up next to someone, every morning. I wanted to get close to someone without them getting too close to me. Being alone is lovely but, periodically, you need someone to like you enough that they want to taste the inside of your mouth.
