I didn’t want to achieve despite myself. I didn’t want to defy anything. I just wanted to feel ordinary. To not overcompensate every day. I wanted to be bad at things and have people laugh at me because that’s life. I didn’t want pity. And when I was great at something like swimming, I didn’t want to feel praised for what I’d overcome. I wanted to just be good. It fucks you up, competing against low expectations. Nothing feels like a win.
