Out on a Limb

by Hannah Bonam-Young

She’s smart like her father, her mother said quietly. She’s strong like her mother, her father said loudly to anyone who would listen. We love you, they whispered to her over and over and over again. Thank you, her father added, kissing her mother. I did it, her mother whispered, kissing him back.

She also has his sweet tooth. But they all have that.

“and someone else failed to tell me about her math homework until the night before it was due.” “August Sarah Durand, you know it hurts your father when we keep math from him.”

“Aye, aye, Captain Charlie!” “Aye, aye, Mommy!” she says, giggling as she unsheathes an imaginary sword from her belt loop.

“I seem to recall there being fishnets one year. Can we bring those back?” he asks, turning the corner into the hallway. “Dada!” Joey says, standing next to Charlie, who narrows her eyes at me. “No!” “We’ve been spotted,” I whisper, holding on to Bo for dear life as he takes off jogging. “Put Mommy down!” Charlie says, giggling as she swipes at Bo’s calves with her foam sword. “Never!” he shouts.

For all she’s taught me. For bringing her dad and me together. For making me realize just how capable I am. For every single wonderful thing that’s happened since she entered our lives and flipped them upside down. And I know for certain that I’d do it all again.

But he has often reminded me that “Moon River” was the song she used to sing to me whenever I was fussing.

Sarah has also become one of my most treasured friends. Her continuous support of Win, her event-planning expertise, and her unmatched obsession with her niece have all been stabilizing forces in our lives over the last three months as we tried to make today happen with a newborn at home.

I guess they can all see her too. She’s truly real.

That’s when I crack open with a sob so ugly that I can’t help but laugh at the same time tears begin streaking down my cheeks.

“She’s perfect,” I whisper to no one…or, perhaps, everyone. I’m too busy watching Win loop her arm through the crook of my father’s. I take a long breath, shuddering with it as I blink back tears, hoping for a reprieve from my crying, but it doesn’t come. I just love her so fucking much. More than I can physically hold in. I love this place. I love our friends. I love this day and this entire last year too. I love my little girl and the other children I hope to someday share with Win. I love my life now, thanks to her. I have a life now, thanks to her.