Out on a Limb

by Hannah Bonam-Young

my hips and stomach hold the pleasure of a well-fed, comfortable woman. I don’t try to force my body to be something or deprive it of pleasantness. It just is. And I like it, enough, as is.

What’s worse than a woman who can’t enjoy her own company? Independence is a virtue, and one that is best learned without too many hard lessons.

“You can’t change anything by hiding it. You’ll just look back on memories and realize you tried to erase yourself. And how sad that would be.”

sometimes good things are just good things.

Maybe a little discomfort will do me some good.

I miss the chaos of four women trying to share one bathroom and one vehicle. I miss feeling young and carefree and naïve. I wasted so much of that time wishing I was older. Waiting impatiently to get out and live my own life. But that never really happened. I just got older.

That’s enough, I think. To have a friend who believes in me.

Years and years spent still getting to know each other, unlearning and relearning each other as the decades go by. Uncovering the intricate layers and deepest spots until every darkened corner is found. The mess and the chaos and the beauty of a life well lived—a life shared. I’d like it very much. So much it scares me even more. But not enough to not try.

I can tell life has not been easy or always kind to you, but you haven’t let it turn you hard. Not like a stone. You became like water. You move with it all. You’re soft…but powerful.”

I wish I could take out his soul and smooth it out too, remove every wrinkle and crease and stain and give it back to him

Because when you love someone this much, when you’ve seen their hurt and their heart and you recognize them as your own—you’re left with no choice but to give yourself over to it.