When the Moon Hits Your Eye

by John Scalzi

“And even if we had it, disappearing the moon and replacing it with an equally massive orb of probably cheese serves no discernable military purpose.”

Maybe to you

LeMae was excited about going to the moon, but she was even more excited about the idea that one day she might be able to stay on the moon. It seemed more and more preferable to the alternative. Earth was becoming progressively more annoying.

“I don’t want to believe in a god that tests humans by turning the moon to cheese,” Alton said.

“Yes,” Clyde confirmed. “And the god I don’t believe in is the forgiving one, not the wrathful one.

Jew coded

Finally she kicked the covers off herself, went down to the kitchen, and made herself some Sleepytime tea, not because she was convinced it would help her sleep, but because it would give her something to do.

So true

a famous-on-social-media comedian who goes by the name of Gabby Pentin,

That’s pretty good

Here are the answers which, like cheese, we all crave.

“Why are you like this?” Lisa Christensen said to Mackie. “I mean, you know why I am like this,” Mackie said. “Late capitalism and a short attention span.”

“What’s that poem? The one about the end of the world.” “That’s about half of them.” “No, the one with fire and ice.” “You’re probably thinking of the one by Robert Frost,” Heffernan said. “‘Some say the world will end in fire—’” “That’s the one,” Boone said. “The world will not end in fire, or in ice. It’ll end in cheese. Suck on that, Robert Frost.”

“I particularly like this headline from the New York Times. ‘We Will Work the Problem in Front of Us.’” “I didn’t think that one up.” “I know this. You might owe Andy Weir a royalty payment for it.”

Andy Weir reference!!!

“I’m not straight, I’m just lazy,” Cassie said. “I don’t want to have to go looking, and men hit on me more. So it’s just a numbers game at that point.”

“Imagine,” he sang, with a beautiful tenor as clear as a bell, until a chair caught him square in the face, breaking his nose.

STOPPPPPPPPPPP

“Just know that I also need to be steadied. I also need that hand at my elbow when I start to fall. I’m falling, Lord. I’m sorry but I am. I don’t know if I’m worthy of a sign that my faith is not for nothing. But if you can give it, I am ready to get it. Today, tomorrow, whenever you decide it’s time. But, soon, okay, Lord? Soon would be really good for me.”

When it was Lessa Sarah’s turn to share, she wrote a ghost story and argued with the instructor that it wasn’t fantasy because it took place in the present; it was, instead, “magical realism.” Lessa Sarah referenced Isabel Allende and The House of the Spirits. The instructor, unprepared for the Allende Maneuver, backed down.