When the Moon Hits Your Eye

by John Scalzi

Just because we want an explanation—just because we need an explanation—doesn’t mean the universe is obliged to provide one.”

“We are pattern-seeking animals, and we want and expect things to happen for a reason. When no reason is available, we will still provide one.”

“I’m a former philosophy professor. We’re professionally not sure of anything.”

I don’t pretend I can explain the moon turning into cheese. I can’t. No one right now can. But that doesn’t mean that it isn’t explainable—it just means that, on this particular matter, we are no different than those humans ten thousand years ago looking at an eclipse. You know those humans really are no different than we are, right? They had the same brains and the same ability to reason and understand. Bring one of those humans ten thousand years forward in time and once they stopped freaking out, you could explain the science of eclipses to them. I don’t know what the science is here. I may not live long enough to receive and understand the science. But I believe strongly that the science is there. The history of human civilization is the history of what was considered the magical and mystical slowly but surely being explained. The moon turning into cheese seems magical and mystical to me. But maybe if a human from ten thousand years in the future came back in time, they could explain it to me, and I could understand it. [applause] Question: Okay, but it could be God testing us, right? Answer: I mean, why would God test us with cheese? [laughs] That’s a question for a theologian, not for me. Please, seriously, ask your local clergy about that one.

“So, no. It’s not fair. But it’s the world that we’ve made for ourselves, isn’t it. Or at least, the world that we let those who we elected decide was the one we should have.”

I feel like a hypocrite right now. Healing others with a broken tool.”

“This afternoon I was thinking about which of the people whose faith you tested I was most like, Lord. Was I like Job, who you heaped misery on until he broke? And I thought, no, not like him. My life is good, thank you for that, and the trial you’ve given me is the trial you’ve given everyone else. You’re not singling me out. I’m not a Job. And I’m not Peter, because even now I’m not denying you. I’m talking to you right now. “I guess maybe I’m like Thomas. I want to have faith in you, faith in your word and whatever plan it is that you have that involves a moon that’s made of cheese and the part of it that’s maybe going to kill us all. I want to believe it’s for a purpose. I want to believe in the promise of the rainbow, the sign you gave that you would never again set your wrath against all of us. I want to believe it, Lord.

“But right now, I have doubts. I have doubts, and like Thomas, I need to see. And I know that needing proof for faith is a lesser faith, Lord. You said it to Thomas himself. I wish I could have that faith right now. But I can’t. I’m trying, but I just can’t.” James stood. “Whatever happens, Lord, I will be there for Meadow Hill. For Caleb and for every other congregant who has doubts and fears, for any of them who need comfort. I will give them faith in you. I promise you I will steady them when they waver, and hold them when they fall into despair. It’s what they deserve and what I can provide. “Just know that I also need to be steadied. I also need that hand at my elbow when I start to fall. I’m falling, Lord. I’m sorry but I am. I don’t know if I’m worthy of a sign that my faith is not for nothing. But if you can give it, ...