Look Who's Back

by Timur Vermes

“But I still don’t recall seeing you anywhere. Have you got a card? Any flyers?” “Don’t talk to me about the Luftwaffe,” I said sadly. “In the end they were a complete failure.”

I continued to dedicate myself to the iron discipline of my daily routine. I rose at eleven in the morning, had the hotel staff bring me a slice or two of cake, and then I would work until late into the night.

When the situation is less favourable, so I discovered, it is somewhat easier: you give the order that every metre of ground must be defended until the last drop of blood is spilled, and then the job of waging war is effectively finished for the day – one might as well go home.

How many more bombs would we have had to drop on their cities before they realised that they were our friend?